Hello there
What’s this, the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter on a Friday just as the Force intended? It’s been a very busy spring here at Death Star HR HQ, but it looks like things are calming down and I’ll be able to get back on schedule. It’s a pretty quick one these week. A couple memes, a few Simpsons references, and discussion about one of the best characters in Andor.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
It’s not Andor related, but it is right in my wheelhouse. Got this from friend of Death Star HR, Eric Pierce.
“Meesa be knowin’ your master, Lady Tano. Yousa be thinkin’ that little Annie was big ‘n strong witha the dark side? Meesa moi moi strong witha the darka side! Meesa bein’ the bombad general of da Sith!”
This Is Where The Fun Begins, Pt 2
Andor is over. I am sad. Pour one out for the weirdest couple in Star Wars.
They both got what they deserved. But they were the best.
From the Desk of the Editor
One correction and one little bit I accidentally skipped last week. First off, last week in the Death Star HR Book Club, I stated that Boba Fett appeared in “New Jedi Order: The Final Prophecy.” That was incorrect, Fett appears in “New Jedi Order: The Unifying Force.” For any of you Fett-heads who immediately went to your local used bookstore looking for “The Final Prophecy,” I apologize.
Second, low key one of my favorite moments from Andor: Episode IX was the very end when they’re powering up K-2SO and the Rebel droid guy asks Cassian if he wants a pair of goggles. Because my brain immediately goes to The Simpsons…
Andor Finale - Can’t Toast Them All, Can We?
Depending on how you want to calculate time, the finale of Andor has been in the works since May 2014 when Disney announced what would become Rogue One was going to happen. It’s been a ride.
Death Star HR Internal Policy Memo:
It feels like I shouldn’t have to say it, but since there has been a bit of a new subscriber influx lately (welcome and thanks!) I probably should. It has been the official policy of the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter to post spoilers when discussing Star Wars movies/TV shows/books/etc.. It’s just too difficult to talk about something without being able to talk or write about everything.
If you haven’t watched any or all of season 2 of Andor and don’t want to know what happened, I’d probably skip this section. Scroll down until you see a box of crackers
It’s honestly tough to even decide where to begin with the last three episodes of Andor. There’s so much to talk about and really not enough time or bandwidth to do it. Episodes X and XI were edge of your seat suspense, much like Episodes VIII and IX with the Ghorman Massacre and Cassian getting Mon Mothma off of Coruscant. Here we finally got the backstory of what might be the two most mysterious characters of the series, Luthen Rael and Kleya Marki. We find out that Luthen had been in the Imperial Army but deserted on some planet the Imperials seemingly destroy, and rescued Kleya in the process.
Side note: I’m so glad Kleya wasn’t Cassian’s sister. That would have felt too out of place with the show.
Luthen has set so much of Rebellion in motion, recruiting Cassian, the Aldhani Heist, having a mole in the ISB, and on and on. But he’s clearly on the outs with the rest of the Rebels, to the point that Kleya isn’t sure if she’ll be a prisoner on Yavin 4 or not. Bale, Pamlo, and the rest of the Rebellion Council don’t trust him. He’s not a “respectable” rebel like they think of themselves. In their eyes Luthen is a Saw Gerrera, far too paranoid and dangerous to be trusted. Even Mon, who is more sympathetic to Luthen than the rest of them given their history, also has her issues with him, given their history. Luthen did have a kill streak that would even make HK-47 jealous.
In the end, there was only one way out for Luthen. He knew it. He knew his fate was decided years ago. The Empire was going to be the death of him, he just wasn’t sure how. The tragedy was he thought he was going out on his own terms. Rather than let himself be subjected to Dedra’s interrogation, he stabbed himself. The stabbing didn’t take and it forced Kleya to have to kill him.
I mentioned this above and it might be recency bias, but the hospital scene with Kleya infiltrating it might be the second best of the season, behind the Ghorman Massacre. And in a way it maybe could have been a little better, only because of the suspense. At least for Star Wars fans, if you’re deep enough in the weeds you already knew that there was a Ghorman Massacre. It’s been telegraphed since the first episode of the season that said massacre is going to happen, and people online were speculating that we were going to see it after the trailer. We didn’t know how exactly it would go down or what it would look like, but we knew that the Empire was going to kill enough Ghormans for it to qualify as a massacre. It wasn’t going to be the Ghorman Kerfuffle or something like that.
But at the Imperial Hospital, we didn’t know what was going to happen. It could have gone any way. And that’s one thing Andor had going for it. We knew there were a few main characters1 that had to survive the season finale so they could make it to Rogue One. Cassian, Mon, Bale, and Saw. Everyone else was fair game. Kleya might be admitting herself to the hospital, but she didn’t have a role in Rogue One so there was no guarantee she was getting out.
Kleya does her best Mission Impossible impersonation with nerves of steel. She drops Imperials without a second thought. All series Kleya has been, maybe more than anyone else, been keeping her eyes on the prize. Cassian might want go live on a wheat planet with Bix. The Rebel Council might want to bicker among themselves. Even Luthen might get a little sentiment on occasion with Cassian. But Kleya? She knows that Luthen can’t be left alive in the hands of the Imperials. She knows the Rebellion is bigger than any one person. If killing her father figure means the rest of them live to fight another day, then so be it. Ice in her veins. Right up until she finally does the job. Only then can she have a moment of grief, but only a moment because she still has to get out of the hospital. If Luthen can’t be in the hands of the Imperials because of what he knows, it goes the same for Kleya.
I thought the choice to have a relatively low key finale was an interesting choice. The last episode starts with a bang as Cassian, Melshi, and Sassy Murder Droid K-2SO extract Kleya from the Coruscant safe house we saw so many times this season. But then it slows down, especially the scene with Cassian and Vel where they toast the fallen.
It’s a reminder the struggle for freedom is not abstract. The quote "one death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic" is often attributed to Joseph Stalin - a Palpatine figure in his own right - although there’s no evidence he ever said it. In A New Hope, we didn’t know the names of anyone on Alderaan who went boom. In Andor, we got to see everyone who gave their life to fight the Empire up close. Maarva, Brasso, Luthen, Cinta, Lonni, The Ghorman Front, Salman, Nemik. All of them. None of them are heroes the way the galaxy far, far away would think of Luke Skywalker. But they’re all heroes nonetheless. Mostly ordinary people who remind us that fighting fascism is all our responsibilities.
Great Moments in Star Wars Merchandising
You know, I almost didn’t buy these. I knew that Star Wars Wheat Thins existed. And I saw them in the store and walked by. Then I walked by again and put them in my basket. What can I say, I’m a weak man.
At least the Star Wars Oreos came with different colored cream filling and Star Wars design for the cookies. The Star Wars Goldfish had some Mando and Grogu shaped crackers around with the regular goldfish. These? It’s just regular Wheat Thins with a Star Wars box. Come on, Nabisco. I joked that I need to incorporate Death Star HR so this can be a business expense.
This Day in Star Wars History
One birthday and two big releases for May 16th.
Tiya Sircar was born in 1982, in Arlington, Texas. The third largest city in the DFW Metroplex, Arlington actually has its own Emperor Palpatine and Death Star. That would over course be Jerry Jones and Cowboys Stadium. Arlington is/was the largest city in America without public transportation2 which should make this year’s World Cup very interesting. Sircar voiced Sabine Wren in Rebels and any other animated show where Sabine showed up. She also appeared in The Good Place along with Manny Jacinto, better known as The Stranger in The Acolyte. Is it too much to ask to keep the Good Place to Star Wars train rolling and get Kristen Bell in a Star Wars show?
Depending on which Wookieepedia page you believe, there were either 11 or 12 charity premieres of The Phantom Menace, the money raised went to various children’s charities. There was a premiere in Dallas with the money going to Children’s Medical Center.
Here’s a big one! In 2002, Attack of the Clones was released worldwide. I was there for a midnight showing, having very recently graduated from college and trying to figure out how to delay joining the real world. There are a number of less than great moments in AOTC, but I will never forget the first time I saw an army of Jedi rush into battle on the big screen.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
This week is a slightly more “serious” entry, and even though I put the word in quotes, I’m still adding a comment that it’s not really that serious, because ultimately Star Wars is silly. One common question about the Prequels is how is it all the Jedi didn’t know there was a Sith Lord right in front of them. Especially the Jedi Council, which was pretty regularly in contact with Chancellor Palpatine. Turns out, it’s magic. Or more accurately, a Sith Alchemy power known as “Mask.”
Using the technique, a Sith alchemist could literally reshape an individual's appearance, altering the subject at the molecular level.
Very little was beyond this technique, limited only by the craftsmanship of the user. Features, age, disfigurations, even species could be concealed with the Mask (though the latter would require an incredible amount of skill to accomplish convincingly).
The nice thing about being a writer for Star Wars (Kathy, Jon, or Dave, call me. I have ideas!) is that the Force is an easy explanation for anything. Why couldn’t the Jedi see a Sith Lord in front of them? Sith Force Magic. Why did Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan run really fast at the beginning of Phantom Menace and then never again? Jedi Magic. As always, The Simpsons was on point with their “wizard did it” explanation.
News From the HoloNet - Andor Edition
Andor Finale: Creator Tony Gilroy Breaks Down the Star Wars Spy Saga’s Gut-Wrenching Ending
The whole interview is great, but I’m going to quote one part here:
There’s no show without her. For all the shit that she takes online, it’s just insane. This show exists because she forced it to happen.
The “she” that Gilroy is talking about is Kathleen Kennedy, the woman who according to some people has ruined Star Wars.
The End of ‘Andor’: How Diego Luna and Tony Gilroy Revolutionized ‘Star Wars’ Storytelling
From the comments (never read the comments). “Dark, dismal, depressing and just plain boring.”
‘Andor’ Series Finale Recap: I Think We Used Up All the Perfect
I mean, it was just about perfect.
Imagine If They’d Put Palpatine in ‘Andor’
Emperor Palpatine’s #1 Fan might have paid attention then.
I Absolutely Loved the 'Andor' Finale
I did too.
Maybe Star Wars Is Better Without Lightsabers
That’s a hot take. Lightsabers are awesome. But it is tough to argue with the results here.
'Andor' no more: Your burning questions, answered
Most questions can be answered by watching Rogue One.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
And plenty of minor characters that I’m not going to list.
It depends on if you want to count a single bus route as really having public transit.
Andor was a masterpiece. What a ride.