The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: June 14, 2026
It's the DSHR 3 year anniversary party!
Hello there
Welcome back to a very special edition of the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter. It’s my birthday! No, not me as in Jeff the writer of this thing. But today is the third anniversary of DSHR. So I wrote something from the heart.
As always, thanks for reading Death Star HR. If you’re reading this and you’re not a subscriber, I’d love it if you entered your email below and smashed that subscribe button. There’s also an official Death Star HR Instagram and an official Death Star HR YouTube page as well and I’d love it if you subscribed there as well.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
I have no allegiance to either the San Antonio Spurs or the New York Knicks, but the Knicks comeback in Game 4 was one for the ages. Unfortunately I went to bed after the third quarter because I assumed the game was over. So did Grand Moff Tarkin.
How do you say “Knicks in 5” in Aurebesh?
This Is Where The Fun Begins, Pt 2
Sticking with sports, Uncle George and his wife, Mellody Hobson were at SoFi Stadium, or as it has been renamed for the World Cup, Los Angeles Stadium, for the USA vs Paraguay match
Fun fact for those of you like me, who know nothing about soccer - or “football” as the rest of the world calls it - but enjoy the passion and the spectacle of the World Cup. Team USA left-back Antonee Robinson is a huge Star Wars fan and his nickname is “Jedi”.
1,096 Days at the Death Star Human Resources Department
Yes, it’s 1,096 days. I didn’t forget to count the leap year.
You know me, any excuse to post a 30 Rock gif.
I didn’t plan this, but it just happened to work out. The Force works in mysterious ways. Today is the third year anniversary of the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter.
[hold for applause]
I know I’ve said this before, but when I started DSHR, I honestly had no idea if anyone would read it other than the friends and family that I essentially forced at blaster point to sign up. I also had no idea that I’d still be at it 3 years later. I’m pretty good about sticking with hobbies where I have to make an investment with my money, see my record collection that’s slowly taking over my office or the pricey pickleball paddle I bought the other day. DSHR doesn’t take up too much of my money, just my time. Sure, I bought a new MacBook but that was more I really did need a new laptop and it was just a convenient excuse. But now, three years later there’s all of you who read and subscribe and banter with me in the comments. There’s there Instagram page which has been growing. There’s the podcast which I should put more time into and promise I will, pinky swear.
DSHR started because I needed something to do with my time. I was bored, nothing to do1. Emperor Palpatine’s #1 Fan suggested I work on my writing. And for a while, I worked on a novel and worked on an outline of a screenplay. Honestly I should finish at least one of them just to prove to myself that I can do it. I enjoyed working on them, but the problem is I have terminal Internet Brain and can’t function without an immediate dopamine hit, which trying to write a novel doesn’t provide. It’s instant gratification or why bother. So I channeled that boredom into starting the internet’s #1 Darth Jar Jar newsletter. I decided that once a week, I’d unleash a newsletter with grammatically-questionable Star Wars #HOTTAKES on the world. If you weren’t a Day 1 DSHR OG, you can read the first newsletter here. It still contains one of my favorite things that I’ve written, my idea for a Star Wars/What We Do In The Shadows crossover. Filoni and Waititi, call me. We can make this happen.
From the opening paragraph:
And welcome to the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter aka Death Star HR. You may be asking yourself, “where does this guy get off thinking the world needs even more Star Wars content?” Not an unfair question. And my only answer can be to channel my inner Disney executive and say “more is better.” A 12 pack is better than a six-pack, right? So it might be one more voice yelling into the vast internet void about droids and kyber crystals, but it’s gonna be my voice. A voice of Gen-X detached irony and questionable grammar skills. So please, subscribe and enjoy. The goal is weekly newsletters and to hate on The Rise of Skywalker every chance I get.
I really do think I sent the tone early and have kept with it. Readers will note that I really don’t dunk on The Rise of Skywalker anymore. There’s a few reasons for that. I would not say my views on the movie have really changed that much, I still think it’s the product of corporate group think where Disney got scared after the 1 - 2 punch of angry internet fans yelling about how The Last Jedi ruined their childhood and the poor2 box office returns from Solo so they went running to J.J. Abrams with bags of cash saying “make people like us again!” But, time heals all wounds. Since 2019 we’ve had some amazing Star Wars projects come out like Andor, Maul: Shadow Lord, and The Mandalorian. We had a fun summer popcorn movie with The Mandalorian and Grogu. There’s so much Star Wars that’s come out in the last 6 years that I love, why dwell on something that isn’t my favorite.
And the last time I watched it, I came away thinking “well, it’s not as bad as I remember it.” There’s some pretty cool parts. Star Wars is like pizza. Even if it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. I’m even including The Holiday Special here. I’d highlight the duel between Rey and Kylo on the ruins of the Death Star as a favorite scene. I would expect that like the Prequels, in another 10 years we’ll see a critical re-evaluation of the Sequel Trilogy. It’s only natural to look at the past through rose colored glasses. Also, if Disney wanted to jump-start rehabilitating the Sequel Trilogy, they could green light The Hunt For Ben Solo. Just saying.
There’s no point in re-litigating the Sequel Trilogy. It is what it is. There’s quite frankly too much negativity in the Star Wars fanbase and that’s not something I want at DSHR. Sure, I think it’s a small number of disproportionately loud “fans” some of who actually mean what they say but more of them are just doing some form of performative outrage for clicks. If I can once again quote myself from when I was writing about The Acolyte:3
If I uploaded a video that said “The Acolyte is pretty good but I wish these things were a little different” it probably wouldn’t get much traction. If I uploaded a video that was titled “KATHLEEN KENNEDY AND THE WOKEALYTE CAUSED MY WIFE TO LEAVE ME FOR A COVEN OF LESBIAN WITCHES” with a thumbnail of me doing YouTube Face, I probably could have gone viral. And that’s always the end goal.
Whenever you see outrage merchants, and it doesn’t matter what they’re outraged about, you should always asking yourself WHY they’re outraged and how maybe they’re trying to capitalize on it. Media literacy is important.
The other related reason I stopped saying mean things about The Rise of Skywalker is quite simply, I don’t want the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter to be one of those overly negative Star Wars media outlets. There’s plenty of those out there, and if that’s your jam and you want to complain about Luke throwing away his lightsaber or Mae and Osha having a virgin birth, there are plenty of subreddits, YouTube channels, and Twitter accounts where you can type or rant about how horrible Kathleen Kennedy is until your heart is content.
Here at DSHR, I want it to be a positive experience. There’s saying around the internet, “nobody hates Star Wars like Star Wars fans.” That’s not what I’m going for. This is supposed to be a place that celebrates what’s fun and weird and silly and strange about Star Wars. I’m not saying that if there’s something I don’t like, I’m not going to say something. But why dwell on the negative? There’s plenty of that in the world right now, I don’t need to add to it. Things are bad out there. I want DSHR to be a place where people can have a discussion and even a debate about Star Wars, but we’re doing it from a place of love. And I think that’s what goes on here. At least I hope it is.
I have said this before whenever I’ve gotten a little meta and talked about DSHR, but I truly appreciate every single person who reads and subscribes and comments and banters with me on here. This newsletter wouldn’t work without all of you. It’s been a great three years, here’s to at least three more.
Star Wars: Starfighter Spoilers Have Leaked
The most unimaginatively named Star Wars movie since Solo is due to hit the theaters in under a year. That doesn’t seem right. I think between Maul: Shadow Lord being WAY better than anyone expected, all the buildup for The Mandalorian and Grogu, and looking to the horizon for the 50th Anniversary version of A New Hope next February, it’s easy to for Starfighter to stay a little under the radar. Really nothing has been know about the movie other than the cast and the barest of details, it will be another “older person who probably doesn’t want the job has to protect a younger person from some bad guys” plot. Oh yeah, and Tom Cruise directed a lightsaber duel. I’m not making that up.
Doom scrolling Instagram today, I came across a post claiming that spoilers had leaked. Since it’s always hit or miss if embedding an Instagram post on Substack will work, it’s just easier to take screenshots. Just a warning, if you’re avoiding spoilers, scroll down really quickly.
I have zero way of verifying this. The post doesn’t say a source or even if they’re the originator of the info or they’re just reposting something they read. A lot of it does check out with things that were already known or previously rumored. There was internet chatter for a while that Amy Adams would be playing Mara Jade or a Mara Jade-like character. Obviously the latter was not going to happen with Lucasfilm’s irrational vendetta against Ms. Jade. It was already known that Mia Goth4 and Matt Smith were both playing bad guys. There was obviously going to be some kind of Jedi and/or Force user involvement since, as I stated above, Jerry McGuire directed a lightsaber duel.
I am not 100% positive about this but I am pretty sure I read that Starfighter will not feature any legacy characters or little cameos. The last time Star Wars tried this was…well…never. Maybe Rogue One is the closest, but even then Grand Moff Tarkin had a pretty important role. Darth Vader and Princess Leia less so. Plus Mon Mothma was there. Poor Genevieve O'Reilly, because of some Lucasfilm choices back in the 80’s, she gets stuck with Mon’s pretty bad haircut.
It’s hyperbole to say Starfighter is the most important Star Wars project post-Rise of Skywalker, but there might be a little truth. Will the fanbase let Star Wars move on from the Skywalker and tell new stories? It’s a huge galaxy, we can focus on more than one family.
This Day in Star Wars History
This is the second time that June 14th has popped up on TDISWH. The last time was in 2024 and I mentioned that June 14th is the birthday for Burl Ives and Steven Sansweet. It must have been the last thing I wrote for the June 14, 2024 DSHR because there were a few other things I could have mentioned.
British actor Jeremy Sinden was born in 1950. Son of actor Sir Donald Sinden ( (an OG nepobaby), Sinden played Y-Wing pilot Dex Tiree in A New Hope. He’s one of the pilots who gets shot down by Darth Vader turning the trench run.
Another Brit, Terry Richards, passed away in 2014. Richards was an actor and stuntman who played the Wampa in Empire Strikes Back. The scenes were cut from the theatrical version but, like everything, you can find them on YouTube.
If you’ve ever watched myself and friend of Death Star HR Shane Elliott talk about Young Jedi Adventures, you’d know that we both have a pro-Nubs agenda. And in 2024, the first four episodes of Fun With Nubs were released on the Star Wars Kids YouTube channel. Also, you should watch Shane and I yak about Star Wars.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
There are a decent amount of feral or semi-feral cats in the neighborhood. I don’t hate it, they’re good for rodent control. We do not, however, have any Feral Droids. At least as far as I know.
Droids that became feral would attack any sentient being, and output random Binary. They appeared to destroy random machinery, including Xizor's lab. They would literally rip apart sentients; they did this in the lab, beheading a Drall scientist, and splattering Human and Aqualish blood all over the walls.
Far, far worse to have feral droids in your neighborhood than feral cats.
News From the HoloNet
DC Abruptly Pulls Supergirl Movie Merch Featuring a Star Wars Character
When you tell the intern to make a print and they just use A.I..
Brendan Wayne Has the Perfect Answer to Toxic Star Wars Fandom
Oh, it’s not sending them all to Narkina 5? OK, his take is fine as well. But I still like my idea.
‘The Mandalorian’ Season 4 Original Plans Revealed By Stars
Lord Janu with the main character energy.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
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By Star Wars standards
You should read that DSHR, it’s a fun one. Lots of Darth Plagueis memes.
Was shocked to learn that “Goth” is actually her last name.