The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: June 21, 2026
Happy "No, I am your father" Day
Hello there
Welcome back once again to the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter. Things are running a bit slow here, as the World Cup has been occupying most of my time. I am by no means a big soccer fan but I love the World Cup and seeing the all the fans and especially the non-powerhouse countries that rise to the occasion. As I’m typing this Egypt just beat New Zealand and it’s Egypt’s first win at the World Cup, ever. The team and their fans are celebrating like they won it all. It’s fantastic. And you’re getting DSHR late Sunday because I went out to an Argentina fan rally in town. Did I understand any of their chants? Absolute not, but you couldn’t beat the energy.
Anyway, this week I get to combine one of my all time favorite Simpsons episodes with Star Wars, contemplate Star Wars dads, and check in on what George Lucas is up to these days.
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This Is Where The Fun Begins
One of my all-time favorite episodes of The Simpsons is “Homer’s Enemy.’ Arguably one of the most meta and darkest episodes in the Classic Simpsons era; the TL;DR of the episode is that Frank Grimes1, a new employee at Springfield Nuclear Power Plant who has struggled his whole life, is shocked and appalled with how easy Homer goes through life and how everyone in Springfield just accepts that he’s a buffoon but nobody does anything about it. The climax of the episode is when Grimey snaps and runs through the power plant doing his best Homer Simpson impression, only to have it end in tragedy.
Written by legendary Simpsons writer John Swartzwelder2, it’s actually a fairly controversial episode among Simpsons fans. There are some who think it’s too dark or too mean to Homer. It’s also worth noting it’s not as black3 and white4 as Grimes thinks it is. While yes, Homer is a dummy with a charmed life, he also makes a genuine effort to befriend Grimes. But Grimes is too caught up in his self-righteous indignation towards Homer to reciprocate. Anyway, all that to say A) I love “Homer’s Enemy5” and couldn’t resist when I saw this.
I actually think Yoda’s expression works pretty well with Smithers’ body language.
The Suggestion Box Is Open
It feels like we’re in a bit of a Star Wars lull right now. Maul: Shadow Lord wrapped up. The Mandalorian and Grogu has been in the theaters for a month now. We’re not getting Ahsoka season 2 or Starfighter until next year. The hype train for the 50th anniversary hasn’t really started yet. I threw this out in the Substack chat but will put it here. Is there anything you’ve been wishing I would write about it? If so, leave a comment. I can’t promise I’ll get to it, but I’ll see what I can do.
I’ve had a few suggestions and I have a few ideas of things I’ve wanted to write about. But I’m always open to ideas.
The Official Star Wars Dads Ranking
If you are one of my readers based in the United States, you know that today is Father’s Dad. Already called Darth Dad, so I’m good there. Star Wars is ultimately a show about your family. Both your blood relatives and your found family. And it does a good job often depicting family as it really is. Fraught, messy, and cutting your son’s hand off. But it also shows some of the best parts of family. So with that, let’s get to the ranking.
7 - Cassian Andor. Not enough data. But I bet Cassian would have been a good dad.
6 - Sheev Palpatine. Bad dad, no two ways about it. While he was a decent father figure to Anakin Skywalker, it was less out of Ol’ Palpy being a good guy and more about grooming an emotionally unstable Jedi to become the eventual Dark Lord of the Sith. He also referred to his own “son6” as a “useless creature.” He did show an interest in his granddaughter. But again, it wasn’t a healthy interest.
5 - Darth Vader. Less of a bad dad than his father figure, Palpatine. But right up until the end when Anakin Skywalker returns, he’s largely been an absent father. And that’s honestly his best trait. Given that he essentially killed Padme, stood by when Grand Moff Tarkin blew up this daughter’s adopted home planet, and cut his son’s hand off; he should have stayed as an absentee dad.
4 - Han Solo. His heart is in the right place, but his results seem questionable. Are there any canon books that cover Han’s adventures from Return of the Jedi up to The Force Awakens? Because when old Han shows up, he’s separated from his wife, his kid has fallen to the Dark Side and clearly doesn’t like him. Sure, Han still has Chewbacca. But it’s certainly implied Han wasn’t a very good father.
3 - Luthen Rael. He’s not Kleya Marki’s stepdad, but he is the dad who stepped up and trained his adopted daughter in all forms of guerrilla warfare.
2 - Uncle Owen. Not actually Luke’s dad, but we’re being a little loosey goosey with who gets to be a dad in the Star Wars universe. Perhaps a little gruffer than he needs to be. But Uncle Owen does have a heart of gold underneath. Sure, he’s crushing Luke’s dreams but keeping him around for the harvest and not letting him go to the Academy. But harvest is when he’s needed the most. It is funny to think that canon has established that Vader and his identity during the Empire is a big secret. Yet Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru know that Luke is too much like his father.
1 - Din Djarin. The best dad in Star Wars? Is that really even up for debate? He saved Grogu from the Imperials, adopted him into the Mandalorians, is teaching him a useful trade, and always makes sure that he wears his seatbelt and has enough to eat. It might be a bit of a low bar in the Star Wars galaxy, but Mando is the best.
So Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there, in our galaxy and in the one far, far away.
Disney (Allegedly) Now Has a Plan
If there is a longstanding criticism of Disney’s ownership of Star Wars, it’s that the Mouse doesn’t have a plan. That Disney had no vision for the Sequel Trilogy, that they are too reactive and let that guide their decision making. That they announce projects that go nowhere. And that they can’t decide to they want Star Wars to be something you see in the movies or a streamer. All those are both fair and unfair. And because my day job is being a lawyer and I’m trained to argue any point while not actually believing in anything, I offer a point and counterpoint to my criticism.
I wholeheartedly believe the Sequel Trilogy would have better been served by one director and letting that person implement their vision. The differences in tone between The Last Jedi versus The Force Awakens and The Rise of Skywalker are striking. But, Disney seems to have learned from this since Simon Kinberg is writing the next trilogy, which may or may not be Episodes X, XI, and XII. And changes have always happened in Star Wars between the movies. Vader wasn’t Luke’s dad in the first movie, Jar Jar went from a lot of screen time in Episode I to essentially a minor character in Episodes II and III. Star Wars has always adjusted between movies.
Disney does seem to be too reactive at time. By that I mean something negative happens and they over-correct. Just last week I reiterated the theory that after some of the more toxic elements of the “fan”base got very loud on the internet about The Last Jedi, Disney went running to J.J. and said “recapture that Force Awakens magic.” Same with standalone movies essentially stopping with Solo. Or the quick cancelation of The Acolyte. But on the other hand, a lot of these are money related. Sure the loud and shouty part of the fanbase likes to think they got The Acolyte cancelled, but was it some angry YouTube videos or was it The Acolyte was an expensive show?
There is certainly a perception among Star Wars fans that Disney just announces projects and then just lets them die. I think there’s two things here. When it comes to streaming shows, Disney actually has a pretty good track record of getting things to the small screen. Better than you think. It’s probably a little different with movies. It kinda seemed like anyone in Hollywood who met Filoni at an industry event or the grocery store or in the bathroom could just say “I’ve got a Star Wars movie in mind” and the result was it would get announced. I can’t say that if I was Dave Filoni, I wouldn’t do the same thing.
Also a fair criticism. We’ve gone from movies to streaming and now seemingly back to movies. I get why Disney pivoted to streaming. Everyone else was. Then we had COVID followed by both WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes in 2023. It’s probably impossible to quantify how those events affected production. It still is a bit of a strange choice by Disney to go 7 years without a movie, after getting 1 a year for 5 years. We were going through the great unbundling of streaming, from basically Netflix and Hulu to the streaming mess that we have today. If I had to make a semi-educated guess, Disney wanted to let a few years pass after the Sequel Trilogy until bringing Star Wars back to the theaters, but the strikes and whatnot screwed that plan up.
And even now, there isn’t much known on the horizon for live action. Ahsoka season 2 and Starfighter are next year. Everything else is up in the air. However, there is a leaked document that ALLEGEDLY has the Mouse House’s plans for just how much live action Star Wars we’re going to get.
Reputable Hollywood insider Jeff Sneider has published mandates from Disney for Lucasfilm have been published in his latest newsletter. The journalist was provided with a 19-page document that outlines the house of mouse’s intentions for Lucasfilm and Star Wars. We’ll be taking a look at all of the relevant parts of the newsletter in regards to a galaxy far, far away.
The actual newsletter linked above is behind a paywall, so I’m just reading and reacting to Bespin Bulletin’s reading and reacting to it.
The main takeaway is that (again this is allegedly), Disney wants 1 movie and 2 live-action shows a year.
I’ll be honest, that much Star Wars causes me to take this with a grain of salt.
First off, let’s say just for the sake of argument, this plan is to go into effect in 2028. To hit a Memorial Day release for a new Star Wars movie in 2028, said movie needs to basically be filming right now. Or at the very least, needs to be written and ready to go. It takes 18 - 24 months for a Star Wars movie to get from filming to the theater. There are no Star Wars movies filming and as far as I’ve read, there aren’t any even close. TV shows can be done a little quicker, but again there are no known live action Star Wars projects even close to ready.
There were 3 years7, 2022 - 2024 where we had two live action Star Wars shows a year. 2022 had Andor and Obi-Wan Kenobi, 2023 had The Mandalorian season 3 and Ahoska, and 2024 had The Acolyte and Skeleton Crew. 2025 just had Andor, and we aren’t going to have a live action show this year. And you’re asking me to believe that Disney is just going to turn the live action show spigot back on and we’re going to get two a year?
That’s not even getting into the cost. Picking the latest Disney projects, we’re talking some real, even a couple of them are comparably cheaper. The Mandalorian and Grogu had a budget of $165 million, The Acolyte was $230 million, and Skeleton Crew was $136 million. I am skipping season 2 of Andor as an outlier because A) it was very expensive and B) we’ll never see another show like it again. But with the 3 shows I mentioned, you’re looking at $630 million or so, every year. Just a few months ago Disney went through a round of layoffs due to cost cutting mandates. Are they really going to open the money valve for Star Wars? I am skeptical.
I also have thoughts about what’s the appropriate amount of Star Wars we should get, but that is going to be a separate piece.
One other bit from the article I did want to touch on:
With Lucasfilm now being co-run by Dave Filoni, any project is said to have to fit under his storytelling framework. The direction is for all of the Disney+ live action shows to continue to be set within the New Republic era. Even if the time period remains the same, there is some experimentation to be had in terms of genre, tone etc. Animation will still continue be made much like it has been alongside the live action media. The target is to have two series a year.
Emphasis added by me. Assuming this is true, I think this would be a mistake. It’s a big galaxy and there’s lot of time frames. If Disney is going to do two shows a year solely in the roughly 30 years between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens, I think people are going to get bored.
Overall, it’s interesting to think about just how much Star Wars we could get and what stories we might see in live action, but I am going to take this with a Hutt-sized grain of salt here.
The Dead Uncle George Speaks!
Being George Lucas must be a pretty good gig. You have more money than you could ever need, an extremely accomplished wife with an ownership stake in a NFL team, an army of nerds at your disposal who would fight and die for you, and a flannel shirt for every occasion. Not too shabby. But what do you get the man who has everything? Apparently a speaking role in the new Minions movie. Did you know George is a huge fan of the Minions? I did not.
“I had this privilege of meeting George about two years ago,” [Illumination founder Chris] Meledandri said, “and what led to my meeting him is how much he loves Illumination movies, and specifically Despicable Me, and even more specifically, the Minions. It was such a thrill to learn that and then to share it with the team, because obviously he’s among a very small group of people who the entire studio shares a level of respect for that is just off the charts.”
George being into Minions doesn’t really surprise me. This is the man of Ewoks and Jar Jar Binks. George has always said that like Wu-Tang, Star Wars is for the children. Yes, Lucasfilm and then Disney know that the money is made with middle-age fans who can drop the cash for a few days at a Disney Park and $599.99 LEGO sets. But ultimately George made a movie for kids. The Minions may have been taken over by Facebook Aunts making memes, but at their heart, the Minions franchise are also kids movies. It’s not surprising that George would enjoy them.
“An idea for a character came up out of the story,” Meledandri said, “and so I said to Pierre [Coffin], who co-wrote the movie with Brian Lynch, and Bill Ryan, who produces with me on the film, and I just said, ‘Well, what if we could get George?’ And they’re like, ‘Are you kidding me?’ I had no idea, but I got such a fast yes.”
In fact, there’s even an argument that Ewoks and Minions, while not existing in the same cinematic universes, are at least cousins. And not just because they’re cute little marketing opportunities characters.
Like the Minions, Ewoks in Star Wars are cute, feisty, and speak their own made-up language. But did you know that Minionese and Ewokese are sort of like cousins? Ewokese was based on the general sound of Central Asian Kalmyk language (plus a bit of African and South Pacific languages). According to the endangered languages site 7000.org, Kalmyk belongs to the western group of the central Mongolic languages spoken in Mongolia and the Xinjiang region of China. Remembering that some of the Minions' words are Chinese-inspired, there's a relationship here. So, you would be forgiven for hearing similar sounds or even vocabulary in the two languages as they do appear.
My guess is that even if George is busy with getting his museum open, he still has the time to record some lines. Heck, he probably had the time to voice a main character if he they asked him. And you know what, I certainly don’t blame him. As someone who loved making movies for kids, I’m sure the chance to do a voice in a kids movie was something he couldn’t pass up.
This Day in Star Wars History
There’s a decent chance that June 21st is the slowest day in Star Wars history that I’ve covered. There are plenty of comics if you’re interested, but as I’ve said before, those usually don’t get mentioned unless it’s a first issue of a series or something like that.
Comic book author Steve Niles was born in 1965. Niles wrote “Planet of the Dead” for Star Wars Tales 17. Niles best known work is probably 30 Days of Night, a miniseries about vampires in Barrow8, Alaska, which was made into a movie staring Josh Hartnett. He also formed a joint productions company with Rob Zombie.
June 21, 2011 was supposed to be the publishing date of Heir to the Empire: 20th Anniversary Edition. It wasn’t actually published until September 6, 2011. Rumor was Grand Admiral Thrawn held up the publishing because insisted on using a late-period painting from controversial Naboo artist Casemiro Danilo9 as the cover art while Lucasfilm just wanted the Imperial symbol.
Readers of DSHR know that both myself, and friend of Death Star HR Shane Elliott have a pro-Nubs agenda. I’m just going to say that maybe if Nubs had returned instead of Palpatine, Rise of Skywalker would be remembered differently. But at least in 2024 on this day, Disney dropped “Nubs Tries to Meditate.” Which as everyone knows is the fifth episode if the Fun With Nubs web series.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
You guys all know that Star Wars food is one of my favorite topics for FTDOW, but I might be changing my mind after coming across Cream of Womprat (Legends).
Cream of womprat was a popular soup flavor on Tatooine.
Thankfully there is not a description of what it tastes like. The soup was an easter egg from the Decipher CCG.
Someone at Disney even liked the idea of cream of womprat soup so much, that they’ve bought it into canon. Just let that sink in. Cream of womprat soup is canon. Mara Jade isn’t. There’s no justice.
News From the HoloNet
George Lucas planned a Star Wars television series starring Emperor Palpatine, but it never happened
The West Wing but make it Star Wars? Yes please. Although honestly it would probably be more like House of Cards instead of The West Wing.
An ultra-rare Star Wars Lego collection went missing - it’s sparked viral conspiracies
Going to write more about this next week. It’s a wild story. Crazy it’s made it across the pond and the BBC has picked it up.
Peter Serafinowicz Critiques George Lucas for Low Pay and Calls ‘Star Wars’ a Disappointment
I guess if I was prominently featured on the poster and then got cut in half, I’d be mad too.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
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Or Grimey, as he liked to be called.
Other Swartzwelder episodes include Itchy & Scratchy & Marge, Bart the Murderer, and Homer at the Bat.
Carl
Lenny
Even the B plot of Bart owning a factory has its moments.
Getting into the whole deal of Palpatine’s cloned off-spring is a chore. We’re not doing it here.
It’s a bit muddled since there are a lot series that start at the end of one year and run into the next. I am just counting when the series started.
Two fun facts about Barrow. It’s now called Utqiaġvik and Point Barrow/Nuvuk is the northernmost point in the United States.
I’m watching the Brazil/Haiti match as I type this and combined two Brazilian players to make up a Star Warsy name.
"Is there anything you’ve been wishing I would write about it?"
You want to write about Darth Jar Jar.
Search your feelings, you will know it to be true.
Josh Hartnett would have made a better version of Jacen/Ben Solo in my opinion. Too bad the movies weren't produced in the early aughts when Hartnett was the heart-throb of the day. I think it's also easier to digest him as Harrison Ford's offspring than Adam Driver.