The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: October 25, 2024
A new documentary is coming soon and maybe a fallen Jedi is still alive
Hello there
Good morning and welcome to the October 25th edition of the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter. This is going to be a shorter than normal edition. I know, I know. I’ve been saying that a lot lately. I do have my reasons. October is always a busy month for me, there’s almost always travel. I’m currently typing this from a place that is actually more desolate than Jakku. That’s right, I’m talking about Far West Texas. There is a certain peacefulness to the sparse landscape, there’s something relaxing about looking out at the Chisos Mountains while I’m typing. It’s basically the complete opposite of my day to day life in Dallas.
Also, I’ve noticed there’s been an influx of new subscribers lately. Welcome, I’m certainly glad you’ve signed up. If you have any Star Wars loving friends or enemies and wanted to forward them the Death Star HR Newsletter, I certainly would appreciate it.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
Save the pages with the First Order Stormtroopers for when you run out of crayons.
Dun Dun Dun Dundedun Dundedun
Star Wars basically would not be Star Wars without Johnny William’s music
-George Lucas (in the trailer below)
George isn’t wrong. And I’m not just saying that because I have to say nice things about George to keep the Lucasfilm lawyers off my back. I mentioned last month upon his passing, that Star Wars wouldn’t be Star Wars without James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader. Try to imagine Star Wars without the main theme, or without the Imperial March, or without the Duel of the Fates. It’s not the same, and I mean that in a bad way.
As someone who loves music1 but is not musically talented, I always find the idea putting together a classical piece just mind boggling. Like I understand how to put together a guitar/bass/drums song, because some friends and I had a very very bad basement band when I was in high school. We weren’t even good enough to be a garage band. But the idea of putting together a piece with strings, brass, percussion, and whatever else you need and the only inspiration you have is the director telling you “make it majestic” or “the piece is for the villain’s entrance” just seems crazy to me. I think you’re a composing, your brain just works differently. Or at least differently than my internet brain.
Of course Williams isn’t just known for Star Wars. His list of credit include but are not limited to Indiana Jones, Jaws, E.T., Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Jurassic Park, and that’s just off the top of my head. I’ll have a review of the documentary once it’s released, but I am very excited to see it.
Falling Out a Window is Not Deadly
One of the core beliefs here at the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter is that we should let the dead stay dead. Was there any point to bringing Asajj Ventress back in The Bad Batch other than Star Wars fans got to do the Leo pointing meme?
When you bring back a character for no reason other than to give the fans a cheap hit of nostalgia dopamine, it cheapens the characters death in the first place.
Despite having his hand chopped off, getting zapping with Force lightning, and then falling out the window from the Chancellor’s office, Samuel L. Jackson thinks Mace Windu survived. In the interest of full disclosure, I am both a fan of Samuel L. Jackson the actor and Mace Windu the character. I’ve always felt he was underused. Off the top of my head, I believe there is only one book in Legends where Windu is the main character, and one book in canon that was just released. Space Wizards Book Club has a good review of it. That being said, I am not a fan of this idea.
The CGI of Palpatine’s jumps and flips has not aged well.
Windu’s death is Anakin’s point of no return. He cuts off the hand of a member of the Jedi Council. Yoda and Obi-Wan aren’t exactly going to be thrilled to hear Anakin did it because he thought it was the only way to save his secret wife that he married, a marriage that was against the Jedi Rules and Regulations Handbook. At that point, following Palpatine down the path to the Dark Side is the only option. Or at least it’s the only option that Anakin can see, the only one that could save Padme.
So even though he was launched out of the Chancellor’s office, 500 meters2 above Coruscant’s surface, Jackson says maybe just maybe Mace survived, telling Jimmy Fallon:
Jackson: There's a history alone, history of one-armed, one-handed people in the Star Wars Universe. So, just cause they cut my arm off and I fell out a window, doesn't mean I'm dead. I'm a Jedi! The second-most powerful Jedi in the universe next to Yoda. So, I can float!
Fallon: So…you think Mace Windu is still alive?
Jackson: Yeah, he's out there. Yeah, he's out there walking the Earth with Jules.
Jackson does certainly have a point. Getting your hand cut off and getting zapping out a window isn’t REALLY a death sentence in the Star Wars universe. Darth Maul was cut in half and returned, just as one example.
I’ve said plenty of times that Star Wars is better when it takes chances. Recycling old characters is not taking chances, it’s not doing anything new. It’s playing it safe. I’m worried that after The Acolyte, Disney and Star Wars will give us nothing but the same thing over and over again until the fans get bored. If Disney wants to do another book, or comic book series, or even a cartoon giving us some Mace Windu backstory, I am absolutely here for that. But nothing new where Windu survived Order 66 and has been hiding out on some Outer Rim planet. Please, I’m begging you.
This Day in Star Wars History
Four births in the Star Wars universe for October 25th.
Author John Gregory Betancourt was born in 1963. His only contribution to Star Wars was the short story “And the Band Played On” in the Tales from Jabba’s Palace book. I like any story that features Max Rebo. Betancourt was, as far as I can tell, an early adopter to print on demand technology in the late 90’s and through his company, Wildside Press, has over 11,000 books in print.
Voice actor Kevin Michael Richardson was born in 1964. He’s voiced quite a few characters in various Star Wars cartoons and videogames, including Jabba the Hutt, Mace Windu, and most importantly, Jolee Bindo, possibly the grumpiest former Jedi in the Old Republic, maybe any Republic.
Another voice actress, Nika Futterman, was born in 1969. Best known for bringing Asajj Ventress to life in The Clone Wars and The Bad Batch. Futterman is also a professional poker player and sang the “give it to me, baby” part of The Offspring’s “Pretty Fly For A White Guy.”
The voice actor train keeps rolling. Christopher Sean, the voice of Kazuda Xiono, main character in Resistance was born in 1985. I’ve been meaning to rewatch Resistance, maybe that will get bumped up the priority list.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
Hitting the randomizer on Wookieepedia and had to stop here. This week we’ve got Masse Goskey's Arms Emporium and Explosives Mart. The store is exactly what the name says it is, a place to buy arms and explosives on Tatoonie. And Masse Goskey owns the place.
Also, I’m 97% sure I saw a gun store with the exact same name in Pecos.
News From the HoloNet
Star Wars Eclipse and KOTOR Remake Can Push the Franchise Forward By Taking a Step Back
The KOTOR remake isn’t quite vaporware yet, but we’re getting to that point.
Why Disney Is Still Paying For 2016 Star Wars Movie ‘Rogue One’
Hollywood studio math is not real math.
This Once-Lost Film From a Star Wars Legend Was 'The Empire Strikes Back's Dark, Fantastic Opener
Not gonna lie, I am kind of a sucker for stories about something thought to be lost found years later.
Star Wars: Skeleton Crew Will Bring Back The Teek From Ewok Movie The Battle For Endor
I’m here for all the practical effects.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
Seems like a dumb statement to say “I love music” but you know there are people who don’t like music.
1640.42 feet, for those of us still using Freedom Units.
Amazing how hearing the Star Wars theme can give a 48-year-old man goosebumps at 9 a.m. in the morning. And what a wild piece of '90s music trivia about Nike Futterman!
I'll be telling my kids on my deathbed about how I'm still excited for the KOTOR Remake