The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: May 11, 2025
When you've #GIRLBOSSED too close to the sun
Hello there
What’s this, the latest Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter released on a Friday morning as the Force intended? Every once in a while I’ve been able to get my act together and get this newsletter out on time. OK so it didn’t come out on Friday afternoon. I was traveling this week and am finally back home. It’s a shorter Death Star HR this week. The last couple weeks have been 6,000 words about anything and everything going on in Star Wars. The next Death Star HR will be back on Friday, as the usual schedule. Or at least it should be. I’m not going to make any more promises.
This week things come to a head in Andor, the dead speak live in Tales of the Underworld, and I get just a little closer finally finishing the New Jedi Order books.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
I was in Denver for a few days, it was a great trip and I had a lot of fun. Just like I do every time I visit the Mile High City. This time around, I got to visit Casa Bonita. Which is an experience. If the name Casa Bonita rings a bell, you either are a South Park fan, or you lived in one of the other cities that had a Casa Bonita. There apparently was one in Fort Worth, Texas. But it closed long before I ever moved to Dallas. Denver is the only one left and thanks to South Park, the most famous of them all. The only way to describe it is that it’s the Death Star of Mexican restaurants (really more Tex-Mex). I remember seeing the South Park episode when it first came out and just assuming it was something they made up for the episode.
So what does this have to do with Star Wars? As I was wandering through, watching the cliff divers, checking out Black Bart’s cave, trying to guess how much money the gift shops bring in a night, and waiting for the puppet show1; I found little museum with the history of Casa Bonita, how it started and how eventually Trey Parker and Matt Stone bought it out of bankruptcy and reopened the restaurant. Chapter four had a familiar title.
Maybe we can describe it as the Mos Eisley Cantina but with sopapillas.
Ghorman is the Beginning, Not the End
No full recap of Andor episodes 7 - 9, or as we say in Star Wars, episodes VII - IX. If you want a full recap I’d suggest taking a look at either Ahch-Tu Baby:
And if that’s not enough Andor action for you, check out the write up from Hoth Off The Press.
Are we call caught up? OK good. In lieu of a full Andor recap, I’ve just got some bullet pointed thought. I read somewhere that bullet points can be a tipoff that something is written by AI. I just want to reassure everyone reading that each word typed in Death Star HR is personally done by me. I leave the typos and questionable grammar choices in so you know this is written by a human. Not even C-3PO can replicate my tortured grasp of the English langauge.
It’s a testament to Tony Gilroy and everyone involved with the show that they can take a show where we know what’s going to happen and still make it incredibly suspenseful. We knew the Ghorman Massacre was going to go down. We knew that Mon Mothma would give a speech to the Senate and then have to flee. We’ve known for years that Cassian doesn’t make it out alive. And I was still on the edge of my seat the whole time.
Watching Padme’s comment about democracy dying in Revenge of the Sith a couple weeks ago lead nicely into watching various Imperial Senators decry the Ghormans only for Mon Mothma to get up and specifically call out Emperor Palpatine felt weirdly like a full circle moment. The Republic became the Empire with the Senate cheering it on. Here we see the Empire truly becomes THE EMPIRE with various Senators cheering it on.
If you spend enough time on the internet, especially in the last 10 years, you’ve seen the quote “When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.” It’s generally attributed to Sinclair Lewis although there’s no evidence he said it. In 1935, Lewis published a novel about fascism in America titled “It Could Happen Here.”
As The Paris Review said about the novel in 2016: Sinclair Lewis's 1935 novel, It Can't Happen Here, is sold out everywhere online. If you're wondering why, here's the synopsis: "The main character, Buzz Windrip, appeals to voters with a mix of crass language and nativist ideology. Once elected, he solidifies his power by energizing his base against immigrants, people on welfare, and the liberal press."
Pick your favorite facsist from either our current galaxy or the galaxy far, far away. It works either way. The Republic wasn’t overthrown because Palpatine showed up one day at the Senate with an army of Stormtroopers. He rotted the Republic from the inside and people cheered as he did it. Good thing nothing like that is happening in the USA right now…
Episode VIII, “Who Are You” has the potential to go down as the best episodes of Star Wars TV and honestly, when everything is said and done there’s a good chance Andor will be the best thing Star Wars has done, period. The Ghorman Massacre was done so perfectly. The buildup of the Ghor marching into the plaza, chanting, thinking this was going to be their chance to show the galaxy what the Empire was doing. The Ghorman Front thinking this was going to be their chance to fight back. And all we can do is watch with dread knowing they’re marching to their doom. The Empire is so callous it’s willing to sacrifice it’s own troopers and has no qualms about opening fire on innocent civilians, just so it can strip mine the planet.
Dedra and Syril ended the only way it could have. Someone had to die. I had wondered if murdering people to steal their natural resources would push one of them too far. Syril was fine with Fascist Barbie and company oppressing the Ghormans, but wiping them out was a step too far. My question of “did Dedra actually care about Syril” was answered. I think she did, or at least as much as she was able to. Dedra kissing Syril was the most passion she’s ever shown. She really does think that as ugly as Ghorman is going to be, she’ll be rewarded and she and Syril can keep playing house.
I’ll get back to Syril, but since Star Wars rhymes, the couple we were actually cheering for, Cassian and Bix, didn’t make it either. Again much like Denise Gough as Dedra, Adria Arjona gives a great performance at the end. Bix hasn’t done a whole lot this season. I am glad she got her revenge of Dr. Gorst and has seemingly stopped her mother’s little helpers habit. Everyone is making sacrifices for the Rebellion. Her’s is to give up the relationship she wanted. Because she’s thinking bigger than Cassian.
Back to Syril and Star Wars rhyming, in season one we were supposed to cheer for Dedra because she was a competent woman trying to survive the ISB boys club, only to have it revealed she’s as much of a monster as the rest of them. Syril wasn’t a monster, he just wanted to be loved. But just when you think maybe he’s realized the error of he ways, he tries to kill Cassian.
I truly enjoyed Cassian’s reaction. No doubt he’s got a long list of people who might want to kill him, especially if he was back in his Ferrix days. There was along list of either angry boyfriends or people he owed money to. But it’s surprising to be attacked with such ferocity by some random Imperial office flunky.
The lead up to it, Mon’s speech, and her subsequent escape with Cassian were some top tier moments as well. It once again gave me John le Carre vibes. The double agents and not being sure who you can trust, Cassian making up the escape on the fly as the situation calls for. Even though you knew Mon was going to make it out, it was still tense.
I know Tony Gilroy has said repeatedly he’s not in favor of fan service, but I really thought it would have been a nice touch to have the Ghost show up to pick up Mon Mothma. Also, if Chopper had been on Ghorman, the Imperials might have lost.
It’s hard to believe Tuesday is the end of Andor. I was a little worried that I had built up season 2 in my mind and had such high expectations that there would be no way the should could be anything but a let down.
So far season 2 has surpassed my expectations in every way. The story, the cinematography, the acting, and (unfortunately) its relevance to what’s happening today. It’s all been top tier. I’m sad Andor is ending, but I can’t wait to see how it ends.
Tales of the Underworld Was Perfectly Cromulent
May the 4th gave us the third installment of the “Tales” series. First there was Tales of the Jedi, with focusing on Ahsoka Tano and Count Dooku, with a guest spot from Yaddle. Last year gave us Tales of the Empire, with Morgan Elsbeth and Barriss Offee. There it continues along with Tales of the Underworld. Featuring the dead not dead Asajj Ventress and the guy in Star Wars who wears the cowboy hat that isn’t Dave Filoni, Colby Cad Bane. Each character gets a three episode story, you can watch the whole thing in a little over an hour.
Spoiler Alert: obviously I’m going to talk about what happened in Tales of the Underworld and to do that, I also have to at least reference the 10 year old canon book “Dark Disciple” along with season three of The Bad Batch. If somehow those are two things you’ve been avoiding spoilers for, you should probably just go ahead and skip on down to my New Jedi Order book review.
So last year as The Bad Batch was airing…errrrr….streaming, if you were like me, you were probably surprised to learn that Asajj Ventress was in fact alive. This case as a shock to a lot of people because she was confirmed to be dead. Now, as I wrote about last week, it is one of the cardinal tenets of Death Star HR that the dead should stay dead, but Dave Filoni is not asking for my opinion nor is he even responding to my increasingly unhinged emails.
Ventress, for those who don’t remember, was a product of The Clone Wars cartoon. A Nightsister who served as a General in the Separatist Army and acted as Count Dooku’s personal assassin. She also had smoldering sexual tension with Obi-Wan. In fact, in the Legends comic Obsession she seemingly dies in Obi-Wan’s arms. Only to heal herself with a Sith mediation technique, commandeer a shuttle and escape as far as from the Clone Wars as possible.
That was Legends though, where she wasn’t quite dead. Back in canon, for nine years we were quite certain she was dead, you know, having died at the end of Dark Disciple. Underworld picks up where the book ends, with Obi-Wan and Quinlan Vos returning her body to Dathomir. Of course, because the Tales have a pretty quick runtime, Obi-Wan and Quinlan probably aren’t even back to their ship by the time Ventress is resurrected by Mother Talzin for…reasons. The main reason so they can put a popular or at least semi-popular character back into TV shows. I believe that Tales takes place after The Bad Batch. So Ventress has retired from bounty hunting to work as essentially a bouncer at a Space Greyhound station.
When yet another Jedi who escaped Order 66 comes in, trying to escape the Empire, her heart grows 3 sizes like The Grinch and she helps him escape. What follows is a pretty standard Star Wars cartoon adventure. There’s an Inquisitor in one episode, some old friends and a betrayal in the next, and finally a misunderstanding with some aliens in the third. Of course, everyone learns the real reward isn’t water on a desert planet, it’s friendship.
The second three episodes are basically what happens if you took Goodfellas and replaced New York City with the planet Duro. We meet a young Cad Bane and his childhood friend Niro. Bane, known as Colby2 at that time, is an orphan and a street-rat. They’re mostly into petty crime so they can eat. The respectable Duros avoid them. Then a local crime boss, wearing a cowboy hat and a duster, takes an interest in the two and recruits them to help with a job. Colby is successful but Niro gets popped by the police.
At this point, the last two episodes are more like The Departed, if we’re keeping with Scorcese movies. I’ve been trying to think of a good movie where you have two friends who end up on opposite sides of the law. The Departed kinda works, but not really. But I can’t think of a better example. Anyway, Niro is now a cop. You can see the eventual showdown coming a mile away. Colby’s boss gets killed by Niro’s boss. Colby/Bane assumes the responsibility of wearing the cowboy hat and doing crimes. Said crime involves killing Niro’s boss. Also, Colby/Bane’s girlfriend, Arin doesn’t really approve of all the killing.
The inevitable third act is Bane getting released from Space Prison and coming back to get his revenge on Niro. In the time that Bane had been away, Niro and Arin got married, had a kid, and Arin passed away. That’s a lot to happen in a time jump. The shootout at high noon happens, as Niro is laying there in the street, his son runs up to him. It’s not explicitly said but strongly implied that Niro’s kid is actually Bane’s. Like the cad that he is, Bane walks away. The charitably take would be that he knows his life is no place for a kid and he’s not going to let his son become more like him. The less charitable reading of it is Bane doesn’t care and doesn’t have time to be a daddy when there’s still so much crime to commit.
I sound like I’m being harsher on this series when that’s not really my intent. Especially if you watch the Tales shows for what they are. They’re a Star Wars snack, not the main course. So in that way, it absolutely works. You have two well-known characters that people like. The animation just keeps getting better and better. Tales of the Underworld looks absolutely fantastic. It’s a long way from the earlier Clone Wars that was not really looked at favorably. As always, the voice work from Nika Futterman and Corey Buton and Ventress and Bane respectively is top notch.
So why did I walk away from Tales of the Underworld with a “meh” reaction? It just felt like both were stories we’ve seen hundreds of times at this point. The samurai and the western. Star Wars routinely borrows from itself and other types of stories, that’s nothing new. But the Ventress story was one we’ve seen in almost every cartoon. The older Jedi doesn’t want to help someone but the end up doing and eventually everyone has a Very Special Moment where there’s learning and hugging. Or maybe it’s just that this series has been released in the middle of Andor which has been exceeding very high expectations so it’s almost set up to be a let down. Should you watch Tales of the Underworld? I would, especially if you’re a fan of Ventress and/or Bane. It’s not Andor, but if you’re a fan of resurrections or cowboys hat, it’s worth your time.
The Death Star Human Resources Department Book Club: New Jedi Order #18
The end is in sight. I don’t want to say the New Jedi Order books have been a slog, they’ve been a fun read and I really admire how Lucasfilm put together such an ambitious project. There were supposed to be even more books that were scrapped for whatever reason. But I think I’ve had enough of the Yuuzhan Vong for a while. Still, just two books left.
Title: The Final Prophecy
Series: New Jedi Order. Book #18
Author: Greg Keyes
Date published: September 30, 2003
Pages: 305
Status: Legends
Summary in 20 words or less: Road trip to Zonama Sekot! Humans and Vong maybe learn that some of them aren’t so different after all.
The Vong over Tahiri’s left shoulder is nightmare fuel
We are so close to finishing up the New Jedi Order books. This one felt a little out of place honestly, like they took a couple of unused plot points that were just laying around and smashed them into a book. It’s not a bad book, but again it’s one that it felt like they could have taken the battle of Bilbringi elements and just added and extra 50 pages to the final book. But, press on we shall.
The back of the book description talks about that Wedge Antilles is leading a surprise attack in the Bilbringi system hoping to strike a blow against the Yuuhzan Vong and maybe just maybe lead to an end of the war. With only two books left, the Vong have finally realized that attacking the HoloNet, the galaxy-wide communications network. You’d think that they should have thought of this sooner, after all ships or people being able to talk to each other when they’re on opposite sides of the galaxy is important when you’re fighting a war, but nope. Not important until now. Give the Vong this, the picked a good time to finally attack the HoloNet though. Wedge is supposed to sneak into the system, scout out the strength of the Vong, and call for reinforcements. But the HoloNet goes down, and Wedge is on his own. Thankfully Wedge is a pretty smart guy. He’s able to hold off the Vong and even do some damage himself. Jaina is able to secure a Golan II Space Defense platform (shoutout to the OG Thrawn Trilogy for this one) from some pirates, and Han and Leia are helped out by a mysterious friend…
The main story gets us closer to Nom Anor’s story. The problem with being a prophet and trying to lead a cult and lead a rebellion is you have to keep moving. Especially when you know you’re a false prophet. Cult leaders all over the world have faced the same problem. What do you do if you tell everyone the world will end on X date, and then X date passes and nothing happens. Your options are either keep moving the goalposts, or start passing out the Kool-Aid3. Nom Anor declares that the return of Zonama Sekot will bring about the downfall of the Yuuzhan Vong Supreme Overlord and all the Shamed Ones will be able to rise up. As luck would have it, Vong Shaper Nen Yim has a Sekot spaceship they can use to get back to the living planet.
Nom Anor, Nen Yim, and Vong Priest Harrar join forces with Tahiri and Jedi Knight Corran Horn, who hasn’t made an appearance in a while. They manage to get to the planet, but they can’t find Luke, Mara, and company right away. Nen Yim and Harrar realize that this planet is a big deal to the Yuuhzan Vong and decide that maybe war isn’t the answer. Nom Anor is a bit of a jerk, as he tends to be, realizes that if he can somehow kill a planet (yup that’s what we’re going with) he’ll get back in the good graces of the Supreme Overlord. Anor kills Nen Yim and Harrar, and even though Tahiri and Corran try their best to stop him, he manages to sabotage Zonama Sekot and escape back to Yuuzhan'tar/Coruscant. Luke and friends show up to save Tahiri and Corran, and they find out that while the planet was injured by Anor, it’s not dead yet and they set a course for Coruscant as well. As we head to the final showdown in the final book.
The Good:
I liked that Tahiri got a book mostly to herself. In retrospect it’s been building up that she would get to the main character for a few hundred pages. She’s a good character and somewhat interesting in her Jedi/Vong hybrid role.
The Bad:
Once again, the New Jedi Order bait and switch. Wedge being stuck in the Bilbringi system without communication was sold to me as the main plot point. It was more of the side plot. I get it, the writers don’t write the summaries on the back. Or at least I assume they don’t.
Wild Card:
I did not expect to see Boba Fett saving the day. What, Dengar wasn’t available?
Great Moments in Star Wars Merchandising
Offered without comment.
OK I’ll offer a comment. As easy, and honestly as lazy, as it is to dunk on Crocs, they’re actually pretty great for just around the house. I even have a pair of Star Wars Crocs that Mom Mothma sent me last year.4 I’m wearing them as we speak.
This Day in Star Wars History
Editors Note: This was obviously written when I meant to get this sent out on the 9th.
Call it May the 4th hangover, but only two things to mention here for May 9th. But they’re both big ones.
Rosario Dawson was born on this day in 1970 in New York City. Dawson has played the live-action Ahsoka Tano in The Mandalorian, Book of Boba Fett, and of course, Ahsoka. She also lived for a time in the DFW Metroplex.
Speaking of Ms. Tano, on this day in 2022, Ahsoka started production. Interesting that this date is mentioned in Dawson’s Wookieepedia page and the page for Ahsoka, the show. But not on the May 9th page. A tidbit of information that only myself and four other people in the world actually find interesting.
Cad Bane is directing???
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
This week’s FTDOW has a mashup of food, Star Wars suburbia, and dad jokes. You know it’s going to be good. This week we’ve got Unidentified brown dish.
Let’s start with the Wookieepedia warning that the name of the said dish is pure conjecture. I love so much that someone out in the Wookieepedia world thought “this needs a separate entry and I don’t care that it doesn’t have a name. It doesn’t matter, it’s whatever Wim’s dad feeds him after Wim gets back to At-Attan.
But the best of course is the Dad joke from Wim’s dad.
"Mm. Nothing like a home-cooked meal. Bet you missed these while you were out there, huh?"
Dad’s are gonna dad, doesn’t matter what galaxy you’re in.
News From the HoloNet
Say It in Ghor: How Andor Brought a Brand New Language to Star Wars
Just call it “Space French.”
Star Wars Finally Reveals An Aspect Of The Force George Lucas Began Setting Up 42 Years Ago
The underworld part of Tales of the Underworld is literal at one point.
Ewan McGregor Says He's 'So Much Closer' to the 'Star Wars' Franchise Now More Than Ever (Exclusive)
Ewan out here campaigning for season 2 of Obi-Wan.
Andor Leaves Out a Key Part of Star Wars Mythology, and I Think It's Brilliant
It’s kinda strange to have a Star Wars show without the Force, but Andor pulls it off.
This Jet-Powered Flying Bike Lets You Live Your Star Wars Fantasy For Real
If this is real, I’m trading in my car tomorrow.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
“Oh, no! I told them once, I told them a hundred times: put ‘Spinal Tap’ first and ‘Puppet Show’ last.”
Quite possibly the least gangster name ever. Sorry to any Colby’s in the audience.
Before anyone WELL ACTUALLYS me, I am aware it was Flavor Aid that was used in Jonestown, not Kool Aid. But “kool aid” is part of the axiom.
That’s a pretty good Death Star HR. It has the Darth Plagueis/Seinfeld meme and my #HOTTAKES on Wookiee Jedi.
More terrible than usual Jonestown joke from the early Eighties:
“What the people in Jonestown say after they drank the Kool-Aid?”
“‘Oh, wow! I coulda had a V-8!’”
I don't think I agree with your cromulent take re: Tales. I think it's giving too much credit. Maybe the first "season" set too high of a bar, but I just feel like there's enough money involved that they should be able to pull together 15 minute plots that feel satisfying. I could grumble about how excited I was that they had the opportunity to save face for the atrocious Bane cameo in Boba Fett. (Insert "he can't keep getting away with this" gif directed in Bob Iger's direction.)