The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: May 1, 2026
The tragic tale of Darth Maul the Tragic
Hello there
You guys1! It’s almost May the 4th! I almost didn’t do a Death Star HR today and thought I’d save it for the 4th. But I had time this week, so it’s a good one. I went on a podcast, Maul: Shadow Lord is just about done, and there’s a lot of stuff happening this weekend.
As always, thanks for reading Death Star HR. If you’re reading this and you’re not a subscriber, I’d love it if you entered your email below and smashed that subscribe button. There’s also an official Death Star HR Instagram and an official Death Star HR YouTube page as well and I’d love it if you subscribed there as well.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
I honestly didn’t realize that ClickHole was still around. If you’re not familiar with with, ClickHole was started by The Onion, the same Onion that’s been featured here a couple times recently, as a parody of sites like Buzzfeed and Upworthy. I also hadn’t realized it’s now owned by Cards Against Humanity.
This is also a good excuse to post what I think is their most viral quiz, Which One Of My Garbage Sons Are You?
I’ve got some shit boys. My huge beautiful wife gave me children who think and speak like the toilet. I have four garbage sons: The first son is named Royce, the second son is named Preston, the third son is named Lance And Blake (two names for just one son), and the fourth son is the dreaded Laramie. Which one of my toxic sons are you? Take this quiz to find out!
You don’t want to be the dreaded Laramie. I promise you that.
Career Goals: Professional Podcast Guest
Since my dream job of playing for the Detroit Tigers died decades ago, I’ve decided that the next best thing is being a professional podcast guest. So this week, for the 3rd May the 4th in a row, I chatted with Brian Lennon and Gary McDaniel on the aptly named The Brian Lennon Show.
It was a lot of fun talking about the latest Star Wars news and what’s coming up. Along with talking about cats, music, and my love of Far West Texas. Check it out and make sure you’re subscribing to Brian and Gary.
Maul Shadow Lord: Generational Truma & Laser Swords
It’s hard to believe we’re down to just two episodes of Maul: Shadow Lord. Like Rebels, which has several episodes with Maul, Shadow Lord is a way better show than it has any business being. I’ve said this a few times, but just start with this is easily the best looking Star Wars animated show we’ve seen. The use of the handprinted backgrounds really gives Janix its seedy, almost space-noir vibe. The look is (obviously) animated and it’s not trying to pass itself off as photorealistic. But at the same time, I think it’s the most like humans (or humanoid aliens) that Star Wars has ever looked. Like it’s not trying to pass as real like Lucasfilm just used AI. I don’t know, I feel like I’m not being very clear. Just know that the animation is stellar and they do a great job with the little details. Like when Maul, Marrok, and The Eleventh Brother jump through the waterfall, you see stream rising off their lightsaber blades. Just little stuff like that.
Something I’ve also thought is that it’s likely Shadow Lord is going to avoid the issue of The Acolyte. In that it was pretty clearly written with season 2 in mind. There was no reason to tease both Yoda and Darth Plagueis unless you were planning on incorporating them into it. Shadow Lord has already confirmed season 2, and as such it’s allowed the show to let the story breath. They don’t have to cram everything into one season. And they know any cliffhangers can get resolved. I firmly believe that streaming shows should either be written with the expectation they only get one season. Or the show should commit to multiple seasons right off the bat so again, the story tellers can actually tell the story. Look at me spending Disney’s money like it’s my own.
It’s a testament to just how good Dave Filoni and the rest of the creative team at Lucasfilm is to have turned Darth Maul from essential a blank slate killing machine in The Phantom Menace to a character that might only be behind Anakin Skywalker in terms of being a tragic hero. This week we really got a peak behind the curtain, so to speak. Episode 7 was your standard Star Wars animated show. There’s some action and adventure. The plot moves along as the Empire looks to tighten its grip on Janix and capture and/or kill Maul, Devon, and Eko-Dio Daki. We’re treated to a pretty cool blaster shootout between Rook Cast and her crew of Mandalorian mercenaries versus the Empire’s never-ending supply of disposable Stormtroopers. The highlight of course is Maul taking on both Marrok and the Eleventh Brother in a lightsaber duel.
It’s only after the duel and we get to episode 8 that the real emotional weight of the series bears down on you. Yes, I am actually typing this words about an animated series about space wizards with laser swords. The title of Episode 8 is “The Creeping Fear.” As friend of Death Star HR Matthew Freeman noted, that was a rumored title for Revenge of the Sith.
It’s very on brand for the current iteration of Star Wars to either recycle a (maybe rejected) title or just go with an internet joke. Anyway, we do get to find out what the creeping fear is. It’s not the Empire taking over a planet then the galaxy. It’s not the Inquisitors hunting people down. It’s not even the ever present fear of the Dark Side. It’s the fear of history repeating itself and you’re powerless to stop it.
After Maul escapes from Marrok and the Eleventh Brother, he’s in bad shape. He’s gotten away from the Inquisitors but they’ve damaged his robot leg, he’s cut off from Rook Kast and the rest of his crew, and he still hasn’t convinced Devon to leave Daki and follow him. Not great. Even if you’re a very powerful Force user, not being able to run, let alone walk when you’re being hunted by two other powerful Force users is in fact bad. So the episode slows down and we get Maul having Force visions.
And here we get to the crux of Maul’s actions across The Clone Wars, Rebels, and now Shadow Lord. In each of the shows, he’s tried to convince one of the young Jedi to join him and destroy the Empire. First Ahoska Tano, then Ezra Bridger, and now Devon Izara. We the viewer are lead to believe Maul is simply trying to do a Rule of Two here. If you’re going to take on the most powerful Sith Lord in the galaxy, it would certainly help to have a buddy. Turns out Maul, at least from a certain point of view, trying to save the kids. Hear me out.
After watching the extended flashback, it all makes sense. We see a young Maul with his brother, Savage Opress2. Maul goes with Darth Sidious. We get to see that Sidious isn’t exactly a believer in gentle parenting. Rather than train Maul by putting him in timeout, Sidious resorts to Force lighting. And what does young Maul get in return for his loyalty? He gets cut in half by some jerk with a bad haircut and falls down a reactor shaft. Does his master go looking for him? Nope. Sidious just moves on and gets some geriatric disgruntled former Jedi to be his new apprentice. That's no way to say “thank you” for off’ing Qui-Gon.
Can’t expect gratitude from a Sith Lord.
Ever since he was brought back to life3, Maul has always been motivated by his burning desire to get revenge on Sidious. Only it turns out he’s not motivated by the pure hatred you’d expect from a Sith. But rather a chance to right his wrongs. Maul truly believes that killing Sidious is the right thing to do (it is) but not because he wants to seize the throne as King of the Sith or something like that. It’s to kill Sidious so he can’t hurt anyone else. Not just on a galaxy-wide scale, but to save all the little Force-sensitive Zabraks out there so they can’t be twisted to the Dark Side just for kicks.
Last two episodes this Monday. And they drop at 12:01 am in whatever time zone you’re in. I like the staggered release. Wonder if Disney will keep it up.
Also, the chase sequence when Devon, Daki, Lawson, Rylee, and Two-Boots are trying to escape was 100% an homage to F-Zero for the Super Nintendo.
Leaving the House for May the 4th
It is very close the holiest day in the Star Wars calendar. What’s the best day of the week for May the 4th to fall on? I kinda feel like Sunday might actually be the best day so you can celebrate all weekend. Monday, like it is this year, isn’t the worst. But until May the 4th gets recognized on the same level as the 4th of July and is a federal holiday, it’s probably better that it falls on a weekend. Hopefully you can find something fun to celebrate with.
Dallas area. Starting with the obvious since I live here.
The Texas Theatre (aka the best movie theater in Dallas) is showing A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back on the 2nd and the 3rd and then showing Rogue One on Monday.
Order 66 Toys in Plano is holding their grand opening this weekend. Morgan Eslbeth herself, or Diana Lee Inosanto as she’s known in this galaxy, will be signing autographs on the 2nd.
Martin House Brewing in Fort Worth is holding their “May The 3rd Be With You” day on, wait for it, Sunday May 3rd. Lots of vendors with Star Wars themed merch and all sorts of fun stuff.
The City of Carrollton is hosting a May the 4th Celebration in downtown Carrollton.
Elsewhere around the country. The city of Huntsville, Alabama’s animal services is holding a “May the 4-Pawed Be With You” adoption day where all adoption fees are waived.
If you live in Phoenix, Arizona, the Tatoonie of America; the Arizona Science will be showing the Original Trilogy over the weekend at the Dorrance DOME. Which I’m guessing is like the Las Vegas Sphere but I’m not sure.
The San Francisco International Film Festival closes on the 4th with a screening of Empire Strikes Back. Anthony Daniels will be there along with Lucasfilm veteran Howard Roffman, who served as the head of licensing for a number of years.
If you’re in Eastern Tennessee, on the 4th there’s the May The Fourth Be With You 4K in Elizabethton. There’s the 4K for everyone and the much shorter Darth Dash for kids under 10. Fun fact, Elizabethton was home to the Watauga Association. Formed in 1772, it’s considered the first independent frontier government.
Speaking of East Tennessee, if you’re in or around Chattanooga, the Collegedale Parks & Rec Department is hosting a May the 4th Be With You Star Wars celebration on the 4th. Fun fact about Collegedale, it’s the home of Little Debbie snacks. Jabba the Hutt would approve.
The movies just keep happening. If you’re near New Bedford, Mass, the Zeiterion theater is doing a back to back to back screening of the Original Trilogy. I’ve done this before, it’s going to depend on how supportive the seats at the theater are. When I saw it, by the time we were halfway through Jedi I was just like “blow up the Death Star so we can leave.”
Dayton, Ohio residents can hit up Dayton Brick Shop’s Star Wars Block Party on Saturday the 2nd. There’s a costume contest, the 501st will be there. And later that night, you can go head up to Springfield and see an Alice In Chains cover band.
For any Imperials in the Mitten State, the Great Lakes Garrison of the 501st is going to be busy this weekend with charity events and library appearances.
For a week, the Motor City transforms from Detroit to Detroitoonie with Space Dive 313. Think if you dropped the Mos Eisley Cantina on the east side of Motown. One of my cousins tipped me off to this. I have several cousins that are loyal readers and always appreciated. And then I have several more that don’t subscribe and are dead to me. This is very much a Star Wars adjacent type of thing. Come in your best costume that gives off Star Wars vibes. Space Dive 313 has been going since 2015, may have to head back to Detroit for this next year.
Also in Detroit, the best4 team in baseball is hosting a Star Wars night on the correct date. As I noted a a couple months ago, the Detroit Tigers are one of the few teams to hold Star Wars night on May the 4th. The Motor City Kitties are taking on the Boston Red Sox and if you were fast enough, you could have gotten yourself a spiffy and spacey Tigers jersey.
Five teams are holding a Star Wars night this weekend. On May 2nd, the New York Yankees and Washington Nationals have their event. And then along with the Tigers, the Chicago Cubs and Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays, are also holding Star Wars night on the 4th.
Just as an aside about the greed of MLB team owners, it seems like more promotions like Star Wars day require an extra ticket to get whatever the promotion item is, instead of just having one handed to you when you walk through the gates. I love baseball but Rob “Palpatine” Manfred and the current crop of failson nepobaby owners makes it tough to enjoy. I have some beefs with the Texas Rangers as an organization, but at least for Grogu Bobblehead day at the end of May, it’s for the first 10,000 fans. No extra ticket required. Too bad the new Rangers ballpark has all the charm of the ISB offices.
Switching to footy, the Philadelphia Union are holding their Star Wars night May 2nd. There’s a costume contest, the Union mascot will be dressed as a Jedi, and all sorts of fun Star Wars related events.
And finally, if you’ve ever wanted to watch Empire Strikes Back where they filmed part of Return of the Jedi, you can head over to Yuma Historic Theater on May the 4th. You can also get a special Star Wars themed dinner from Prison Hill Brewery to nosh on while you watch the movie.
There are obviously tons of May the 4th activities out there, this is just what a quick Google News search turned. Decent chance no matter where you live, there’s something Star Wars related going on this weekend.
Great Moments in Star Wars Merchandising
I feel like the fact that there is a video game simply called PowerWash Simulator and it is exactly as advertised was something I knew and had buried deep in my brain. The game was simple, you are a person with a power washer, and you wash things. I’ve never actually played the game but I watched some YouTube videos. The gameplay isn’t Call of Duty or Madden or Fortnite. But I can see how there would be a certain zen to it. As far as house work goes, power washing the back patio is high on the list of enjoyable jobs.
Friend of Death Star HR and real life friend known only as V-DUBS tipped me off to this. Now there’s good news for people who want to play a Star Wars video game, but think to themselves “I wish I didn’t have to be a Jedi or X-Wing pilot or Rebel spy and I could just be a guy who cleans Y-Wings.” There’s now PowerWash Simulator: Star Wars Edition.
How many hours of gameplay to power wash all the trash compactors on the Death Star?
This Day in Star Wars History
It’s not quite May the 4th, but May 1st is pretty close. Lots of good stuff today.
Way back when in 1977, the first public preview screening of A New Hope, or just Star Wars as it was known then, took place in San Francisco. Willing to bet it’s one of those things where 200 people were there and 2,000 people claim they were.
The book that kicked off the Expanded Universe, Heir to the Empire was published in 1991. Written by fellow MSU Spartan Timothy Zahn, the book introduced the World to Grand Admiral Thrawn and Mara Jade. I’m not a Sequel Trilogy hater, but the Thawn Trilogy is my sequel trilogy.
Do the words “Katana Fleet” mean anything to you? If they do, you probably remember the 2nd book of the Thrawn Trilogy: Dark Force Rising. Published on this day 1992, the book continues the adventures our favorite blue skinned Imperial and his love of art.
I know lots of people mock Palpatine returning and the method in which Disney informed us of it, but it’s not the first time Sheev survived getting tossed down a reactor core. The trade paperback version of the Dark Empire comic books was published in 1993.
Actor Jake Cannavale was born in 1995. Cannavale played wannabe bounty hunter Toro Calican in The Mandalorian. When you try to double cross Mando, you only get one episode.
The biggest sin of the Jedi was they ruined the career of the best podracer in the Outer Rim. But you can relive the glory days as Star Wars: Episode I Racer was released for the Nintendo 64 on this day in 1999.
The series finale of The Bad Batch entitled “The Cavalry Has Arrived” aired on Disney+ in 2024. It might be time for a rewatch of The Bad Batch.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
I’m not sure how many articles there are in Wookiepedia, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time the randomizer has hit me with a page I’ve already talked about. Orcon. Who looks like Mer-Man from He-Man. I was going to skip him and move on, but then I realize that Orcon has done something that not even Mara Jada has managed to pull off, and that’s get himself back into canon.
I wrote about Orcon for FTDOW on August 23, 2024.
Orcon returned in comic book form in December 2024 in Ewoks #3. Not sure what the instructions from Lucasfilm were to the comic book writers, but I’m sure “make him look more like a badass” was part of it. As he had quite the glowup.
Orcon is still the king of whatever his species is and still lives in the lakes of the forest moon of Endor. But even with his new look, he’s still kind of a jerk.
Orcon was an alien male with green skin and black eyes. He considered the terrestrial beings that crossed the Endless Lake as intruders, calling them insufferable land-walking trash and attempting to feed them to young devil snakes. Orcon spoke in a language other than Galactic Basic.
Also worth noting, the Underwater Kingdom did not believe in pants.
When fighting the Imperials, Orcon wore no clothing but carried a red-staffed trident.
I like Orcon’s style. Or lack of it.
News From the HoloNet
Somehow…Cara Dune has returned.
The Mandalorian and Grogu has a runtime
132 minutes. Plan your spotchka breaks accordingly.
Lucasfilm Exec Says Fortnite is the Future of Star Wars Storytelling
The old person in my does not approve. But I understand meeting your fans where they are.
I would like season 2 of The Acolyte as well but I’m not going to hold my breath.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
Thank you for reading The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter. This post is public so feel free to share it. It is your destiny!
I am a native Midwesterner where “you guys” is a gender neutral term.
I’ve never liked the character’s name. Felt too much like an on the nose, Darth Icky style name. Even if you give it a French pronunciation.
Attn Bob Iger. Death isn’t permanent in Star Wars.
I am referring of course to the Old English D being the best hat in baseball. Fight me, Yankees fans.
Timothy Zahn is a fellow Spartan? Cool! But was he born on the campus the way I was?