The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: July 4, 2025
The rocket's red A.I. generated glare looks a bit off
Hello there
Good morning and welcome back to the standard Friday morning drop of the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter. Hopefully for my readers in America, you’ve got the day off and can find something to celebrate this weekend. This week we’ve got a review of those A.I. Stormtrooper vlogs that have been all over YouTube. A quick look at baseball and Star Wars. And I’m pretty sure I finished my first canon book for the Death Star HR Book Club.
Just a bit of housekeeping, I have a lot going on so next week’s newsletter is either going to be a short one or maybe just a link-o-rama edition. Don’t be disappointed when you open your email on the 11th and there’s not 3,500 words about Darth Jar Jar.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
Since it is the 4th of July, what’s more American than war crimes?
This is “based” as the online discourse says.
This Is Where The Fun Begins, Pt 2
Sticking with the theme…
Chopper forever. Love that little war criminal droid.
So I Guess I Have To Talk About Those Stormtrooper Videos
Hot take time. A.I. is controversial. I know, I know. Really sticking my neck out on that one. I have kind of a #BOTHSIDES take on A.I.. On the one hand, it’s here. There’s no putting the genie back in the bottle. Technology is always evolving. If you’re yelling at clouds about A.I., you’re the town crier complaining about the printing press, or the buggy whip manufacturer railing about the Model T’s that are rolling off the assembly line. Substack as a whole skews anti-AI. For obvious reasons. If you’re a writer, the last thing you want to see soulless publishing houses churning out A.I. slop books because it’s cheaper than paying an author. Even though most authors earn less than poverty level salaries. Not to mention the environmental costs of powering A.I. and data centers.
I do promise that every single word you read at the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter is typed by my own fingers and not Chat GPT or something similar. That’s why there’s typos. Not because I usually finish this up at 10:00 pm on a Thursday and schedule it to publish without really editing because I want to get to bed. No, I leave those typos in so you know I wrote it.
So if you’re at all into Star Wars and have spent more than few minutes on YouTube, the algorithm has probably seen Stormtrooper Vlogs. The TL; DR of it is they’re A.I. generated videos, usually between 1 and 3 minutes long, about a couple of Stormtroopers named Dave and Greg, and for a few episodes their new buddy Jimmy. Dave narrates the vlogs in a “day in my life” style. They complain about their boss, Darth Vader. They get stuck on Endor, and Hoth, and Tatooine.
But the real question is, are these videos any good? I guess you can judge for yourself. Just as a warning, some of them have some mildly NSFW language.
I watched all of them so you don’t have it. It’s a decent parody, if that was the intention, of the day in my life style videos. And you’d have to imagine as a Stormtrooper, you’re going to have some weird and wacky adventures. Vader is for sure a bad boss. In Empire and Jedi, he’s basically the worst middle manager you’ve ever had. They’re far from the funniest thing I’ve seen, but there were occasions where I’d smile, and even audibly laugh. Or “lol” as they say in internet-speak.
If you paid enough attention, you’d notice that while at first glance everything looks pretty good, watch enough of the videos and you see the flaws in the A.I. rendering. The Stormtrooper helmets and armor aren’t consistent. The helmets will change style from one scene to the next. The earlier videos had problems where the visor on the helmets was missing and you’d just see the eyes. Other characters change their looks every scene. Watch the one with fake Luke Skywalker or the Yeti. The characters are rendered differently every time the “camera” switches scenes. Vader’s voice is obviously wrong. The Ewoks don’t look like Ewoks. It’s pretty clear that Dave and Greg aren’t going to be getting their own Disney+ series any time soon. And since most things A.I. related are at least grift-adjacent, the creator is selling a tutorial. For only $25 Republic credits, you too can learn how to create A.I. content that is a step above slop.
And yet…for as much as you can nitpick it, it’s really not that bad. I wouldn’t call the writing good, but I kind of enjoy that either the writer or the A.I. decided to just get weird with it and have the Stormtroopers as ghost hunters in one episode. And the “video” is good enough that when it first was released a couple weeks ago, people on Reddit were asking if it was A.I. or something put out by Disney. How much longer will it take before these kind of videos are virtually indistinguishable from the “real thing?” It wouldn’t take that many tweaks, mostly just making sure things like the helmets are consistent. I’m not sure how long it takes to complete a 1 minute Stormtrooper vlog, but I am pretty sure it takes less time than shooting a fan film like Troops took.
One of these days I’m going to revisit Troops. But not today.
And therein lies the issue with A.I.. We already live in a golden age of disinformation. The absolute last thing we need are tools to make it even easier. One of the biggest and maybe weirdest stories in music right now is an (allegedly) A.I. band has been racking up hundreds of thousands of streams on Spotify. There was an A.I. generated video that appeared to show Keanu Reeves telling off Elon Musk. I didn’t click it because I don’t want to encourage that, but it certainly made its way around Substack with people praising Keanu for what he did. If you saw the video, know that it’s not real. In more Star Wars fakery, there was a photo floating around online with Q9-0m better known as the droid “Zero” from the prison ship episode of The Mandalorian with a caption that it was for Book of Boba Fett season 2. As I wrote about last week, there is no Book of Boba Fett season 2. No matter how much Temuera Morrison tries to make it happen.
Just this morning I read an article about a writer who had ChatGPT summarize and pick 4 of her articles to send in a query letter to an agent. Not only did ChatGPT completely get all of the articles wrong, it continued to “lie” to the author.
Society is cooked. A.I. is going to get better and better until we can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not. Really, there’s only one way this ends. Judgment Day.
Baseball, Apple Pie, & Jedi Bobbleheads
I saw this story a while ago and filed it away for something to write about later. The 4th of July seems like as good of a time as any. How’s this for a headline? Carlos Correa Has Helped Make it Cool for Athletes To Love Star Wars.
Which got me thinking, who’s the most famous athlete to openly proclaim their love of the galaxy far, far away? Last year I wrote about San Antonio Spurs center Victor Wembanyama who had bought a LEGO Millennium Falcon with his first big contract and had some Wookiee-inspired Nikes.
The Detroit Tigers are up there with Star Wars and The Simpsons on the “things I love an unhealthy amount” list, and Carlos Correa was almost a Tiger. Or at least the Tigers wanted him to be a Tiger. But alas, it was not to be.
Star Wars nights are pretty common around sports, but in the major leagues and minor leagues. Minor leagues are little more likely to do a special jersey or something like that. The Tigers had their Star Wars night earlier in the year, closer to May the 4th with a Colt Keith, sorry Colt-Bi-Wan Keithnobi, bobblehead.
Back to Carlos Correa, he wasn’t a Star Wars fan since birth. Mostly because he was born way after the Original Trilogy and was only 5 years old1 when the Prequels came out. Instead, he started watching them after spring training was cancelled due to COVID. I mean, who among us didn’t spend March and April of 2020 trying to find the end of Netflix?
“We were like ‘Everyone talks about the Star Wars movies, let’s see what it’s all about,’” said Correa. “And then we started watching other movies, and that’s how we got into it.”
The movies definitely left an impression on Correa.
The films had an impact on Correa and his wife. When they began the sequel trilogy and watched Episode VII: The Force Awakens, the main villain, Kylo Ren’s name stuck with them so much that they gave their oldest son that name when he was born in 2022. But they didn’t decide on the name because they loved the Dark Side.
“When we first watched the movies in the theaters, I was like Carlos, Kylo,” said Correa. “That sounds like a real cooler version of my name. I think we should name our son that. And then couple years later, we got pregnant, and we always came back to that name.”
Carlos, you are doing something right. Naming your kid Kylo? Impressive. Most impressive. I’ve been trying to convince Emperor Palpatine’s #1 Fan that our next cat needs to have a Star Wars name. I’d have better luck trying to do a Jedi mind trick on a Toydarian.
As a Tigers fan, I can’t exactly cheer for someone on the Twins. But a fan of Star Wars is a friend of mine. And let’s be honest, I’m a little jealous of anyone who gets their own Jedi bobblehead.
The Death Star Human Resources Department Book Club
If you’ve read almost any previous entry for the Death Star Human Resources Department Book Club, you’ve probably seen a copy of Rise of the Red Blade on my shelf. It’s been sitting on my shelf for a while and I’ve been wanting to read it. I was hoping to have read it last year, but the New Jedi Order took a lot longer than expected.
I am pretty sure that Rise of the Red Blade is the first canon book I’ve reviewed here. Just a reminder that it is the policy of the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter to post spoilers. If this book is in your “to read” pile and you don’t want to know what happens, I’d skip ahead. Honestly, there’s no big twist or anything. But you’ve been warned.
Title: Inquisitor: Rise of the Red Blade
Series: Stand alone. Clone Wars adjacent.
Author: Delilah S. Dawson
Date published: July 18, 2023
Pages: 343
Status: Canon
Summary in less than 20 words: Anakin Skywalker wasn’t the only Padawan with generational trauma.
I made a joke a while ago here that there could have been an easy way to avoid the downfall of the Republic.
As awesome as it seems like it would be to be a Jedi - Force powers, cool laser sword, never have to worry about what to wear - there are some downsides as well. I’ve mentioned the idea of the Force as a religion is fascinating to me2. Especially since it seems like it was one of Uncle George’s earlier ideas. In A New Hope, the Force is referred to in religious terms a few times. Most notably Han’s famous quote, “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.” In subsequent movies, it’s toned down. Yoda gives some rules, or maybe suggestions, about being a Jedi. If the Force is god, as the Star Wars universe expands, we see other religions. The Sith, the Nightsisters, the Witches from The Acolyte, the Guardians of the Whills. Even Luke goes all Unitarian3 at the end of the New Jedi Order books with the Unifying Force. A hippy dippy version of the Jedi Code where the Jedi basically used or served the Force however they wanted to.
It’s really not until the Prequels/Clone Wars era that we get a lot more of, for lack of a better word, the dogma of being a Jedi. Once George made the decision that Anakin Skywalker was in fact Darth Vader, the Prequels were always going to end one way. The fall of Anakin to the Dark Side. It was just a matter of how. Turns out, maybe taking an angry kid with attachment issues and raising him with warrior monks who forbid attachment might be a recipe for disaster4.
Turns out, Anakin wasn’t the only angsty teenager at the Jedi Temple. In Rise of the Red Blade, we meet Iskat Akaris. A Padawan who doesn’t know anything about her species, or even what species she is, has some anger issues, and finds herself attracted to a Sith artifact at the beginning of the book. Considering the book has the word “Inquisitor” in the title and the cover art shows her holding a red lightsaber, it’s not exactly a spoiler to say she’s going to fall to the dark side. Once again, the question is how does she get there.
Much like Anakin, Iskat isn’t really thrilled with a lot of the Jedi teachings. She feels her talents are being held back. She feels the Jedi are out of touch and are stifling. When her Jedi Master is killed, Iskat is understandable sad, and upset when the Jedi just go on with business as usual and offer her platitudes like “you should be glad she’s with one with the Force.” How frustrating, at best, would that be for a Padawan? Especially one like Iskat who clearly wants a connection with people, only to be told by the Jedi that connections are bad. Her attempts to learn about her species are shot down. The Jedi just want her to meditate, and now that the Clone Wars are raging, be a warrior.
Does this sound like any other major Star Wars character?
It’s something that’s rarely mentioned about how the Jedi used child soldiers. Sure, they’re children who can move things with their mind, but it’s pretty messed up. The flashback episode of Ahsoka probably does the best job depicting this of anything I can think of off the top of my head. Here Iskat might be a teenager, but the Jedi don’t have any problems giving her a squad of Clone Troopers and ordering into battle. At the Jedi Temple, she sees people she knows head off to battle. Sometimes they come back, sometimes they don’t.
When the fateful day of Order 66 finally comes, Iskat is presented with a choice. She can try to fight off the Clone Troopers who are suddenly pointing their blasters at her, or she can leave the Jedi and get all the answers she’s been seeking. For Iskat, it’s not a choice.
Given the title and the cover of the book, I was initially surprised how much of the book was focused on Jedi Iskat as opposed to Inquisitor Iskat. Roughly 2/3 of the book cover Jedi Iskat But it makes sense. The book isn’t really about the Inquisitors, it’s about why a Jedi would choose to join the Inquisitors. And in Iskat’s case, she’s been stuck in an order that doesn’t understand her, isn’t receptive to her questions, and arguably views her as cannon fodder. Her journey and fall isn’t quite as dramatic as Anakin, but it’s certainly along the same lines.
What if the Jedi Council told Anakin that while generally Jedi don’t get married and shouldn’t form attachments, they can understand based on his background why he still has attachments to his mother and why he has an attachment to Padme. Maybe if the rest of the Jedi understood that Iskat was more into action than mediating, she might not have been so eager to leave. Maybe if the rest of the Jedi had answered Iskat’s questions about where she came from, the Dark Side wouldn’t have been so tempting. Obi-Wan told Anakin that “only a Sith deals in absolutes.” The Jedi weren't exactly noted for their flexibility.
The Good:
A throughly enjoyable book. Iskat was a compelling character, the secondary characters are all fleshed out. And it’s a story that is critical of the Jedi, something we don’t see very often.
The book had a satisfying ended. All Iskat wanted was a connection. In the end, while working as an Inquisitor she falls in love with another Jedi turned Inquisitor. A former friend/frenemy. They die together trying to escape Darth Vader. Iskat gets what Anakin never could, even if it costs her.
The Bad:
I would have liked more about Iskat’s time as an Inquisitor. I get why Dawson spent more time focusing on the Clone Wars and the lead up to Iskat turning to the Dark Side. And it’s was the right choice. I’ve commented before about books that I thought needed a more demanding editor. In this case I would have liked another 75 pages.
Wild Card:
Mean Girls: Jedi Temple version. At the Jedi Temple, fellow Padawans Charlin Plaka and her friend Onielle would bully Iskat and make snarky remarks. Who knew there was a Jedi version of The Plastics. On Wednesdays they wear pink Jedi Robes.
Iskat learns that having possessions are actually a good thing. Uncle George would be proud.
The real moral of Star Wars. Merchandising!
This Day in Star Wars History
Things might be blowing up in America, July 4th is actually a pretty slow day in the Star Wars galaxy. Like last week, we’ve got two births and a book this week.
Voice actor Lewis MacLeod was born in 1970. MacLeod voiced Sebulba, the Dug pod racer in Phantom Menace, along with voicing Sebulba and Obi-Wan Kenobi in various video games.
Australian actor Rohan Nichol was born in 1976. Nichol played Captain Antilles in Revenge of the Sith. When he got the part, Nichol thought he was playing Wedge Antilles. Turns out he wasn’t that lucky and was playing Raymus Antilles. The captain of the Tantive IV who gets choked out by Vader at the beginning of A New Hope.
The book I’m currently reading, The Rise and Fall of the Galactic Empire was published on this day in the UK. God save the Emperor!
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
I was never a Boy Scout. I was a Cub Scout, not because I was good at knots or anything like that, but because I was a big fan of the Pinewood Derby. Maybe if I was alive for the Galactic Republic, I could have been part of the Galactic Scout Corps.
The Galactic Scout Corps was an organization affiliated with the Galactic Republic. It was one of the most respected scouting guilds in service of the Republic.
I really want to know what less-respected scouting guilds in the galaxy were. The Sith Scouts? The Order of the Hutt Explorers? The Crimson Dawn Youth Auxiliary?
Edit to add. Credit to friend of Death Star HR
for suggesting the Palpatine Youth. It’s killing me I missed such a good, and easy, joke there.News From the HoloNet
Star Wars actor Kenneth Colley dies aged 87
RIP to Admiral Piett. Fun fact, Colley also played Jesus in Monty Python’s Life of Brian.
‘Lego: Star Wars’ Sequel Series Casts Dan Stevens As New Villain Solitus
Star Wars: Rebuild the Galaxy was a lot of fun. Looking forward to the sequel. And hopefully a return of LEGO Darth Jar Jar.
Bryce Dallas Howard on Her Emotional Attachment to 'Star Wars'
I’ve liked Howard’s work in the streaming series and would like to see her get a chance as a show runner or director for a movie.
Somehow, ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi’ May Return For Season 2 On Disney Plus
So I’m not opposed to this. But it completely flies in the face of Disney’s known plans for Star Wars.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
Nothing in middle age hits harder than realizing all professional athletes are young than you.
Could we consider Darth Bane the Martin Luther of the Star Wars world then? I like to think of him nailing the Rule of Two to the Jedi Temple doors.
I am probably characterizing the Unitarians wrong. Most of what I know about them comes from The Simpsons.
Can we blame the fall of the Republic in Qui-Gon? After all, Mace Windu and Yoda didn’t want to admit Anakin to the Jedi.
You know, there might be room for a Sith Scouts auxiliary: the “Palpatine Youth” or something. (And I stand firm in my belief that kids can only receive the name “Kylo” if their last name is “Boomhauer.”)
I'm not into sports at all, but I remember the first professional athlete that I saw publicly declaring his love for Star Wars was Howie Long. It was a TV special on Fox about the original trilogy that aired in 1997 to promote the Special Editions. He hosted and narrated it, saying in the introduction that he saw the movies when they were first in theaters and couldn't wait to watch them again with his sons. Am I the only person who remembers this? I guess it stuck with me because I was kind of astonished that a football star (or a jock) was hosting a Star Wars special (which is nerdy).