The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: May 24, 2024
Cats, new trailers, old trailers, and spoilers. A little bit of everything.
Hello there
Good morning from the headquarters of the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter. We are only 12 days out from the premiere of The Acolyte and Disney dropped a bunch of new trailers and videos this week. And I have what is hopefully my final word on The Phantom Menace. At least until 2029 for the 30th anniversary of the movie. It’s a shorter newsletter this week but I promise/threaten next week’s will be fully armed and operational. I had something that was ready to go for this week until I realized I need to make a trip to the Dallas Central Library for some additional info. That’s my level of dedication for my readers.
As always, I appreciate everyone who subscribes and reads every week. Now, let’s get to it.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
Cats and Star Wars. Two great uses for the internet in one great video I received from Mom Mothma.
Zero chance Darth Taco would every cooperate with this. Not for all the kitty treats in the world.
The Drip Drip of Acolyte Info Continues as Planned
Disney has teasing us with new Star Wars shows down to an art. Or maybe a science. An artful science, if you will.
Release a trailer, with say something like a Wookiee Jedi, sending fans into a frenzy.
Once the fans have been whipped up into a pack of ravenous dogs, throw them scraps, thus ensuring they’ll always want more.
Look, I don’t use the phrase “pack of ravenous dogs” to describe us Star Wars fans with any judgment. Hell, I include myself to be right in the middle of the pack, snapping my jaws as Dave Filoni dangles a Milk Bone over us. Or maybe since I’m not just trying to get the treats, I’m writing about it, that makes me more of a trained seal.
All that is a long way of saying a couple new teasers for The Acolyte have dropped.
OK first off, more Wookiee Jedi! Just give him all eight episodes!
Also, a lightsaber whip? Oh yeah! From reading the comments (something I never recommend you do) it appears this a Jedi and weapon from The High Republic books. My initial reaction is a lightsaber whip isn’t as good of a weapon as a regular lightsaber, but I’m also a guy who sits a computer for a living and will be useless when society collapses and we’re reduced to brutal hand to hand combat over a gallon of gas, so what do I know.
Finally, recreating The Fugitive, we see who think is Mae about to jump off a waterfall and being (wrongly??) accused of something. Probably killing Jedi.
In the time between I started typing this week’s Death Star HR and Thursday evening when I was finishing up, Disney threw us a handful of Beggin Strips in the form of five new videos. Two trailers, two that are a mix of footage from the show and behind the scenes. And one we’ll get to below.
I know I say this every time, but the more I see from The Acolyte, the more excited I get for it.
Even Better Than a Fiddle Made of Gold
Saying I like music is kind of a dumb statement. Music is universal. Who doesn’t like music? I’m sure there are some people that don’t but I don’t want to know them. Just saying “I like music” seems like a weird statement to make. And I say that despite not having any sense of tone, pitch, or rhythm. You know, things you need to actually make music. Star of the upcoming The Acolyte, Amandla Stenberg, on the other hand actually can play music. As Darth Vader would say, “impressive…most impressive.” Along with acting, she can also play the violin. Or as we call it in Texas, the fiddle1.
As she says in the video, you can’t be a Star Wars fan without being a fan of the Star Wars music. It’s iconic. As soon as you get the blast of the horns to start the piece, you know you’re going to be in for a fun couple of hours. It’s a fun video, how wild would it be to not only be a Star Wars fan, get cast in a Star Wars show, and then John Williams just hands you some music and says “here, I composed this for you.” No pressure.
I have been trying to convince Emperor Palpatine’s #1 Fan to learn the “Imperial March” on piano for years. And then play it whenever I walk in the room. I’m 0 for 2 there.
A Day That Will Be Long Remembered
While May the 4th was the 25 anniversary celebration of The Phantom Menace, the real 25th anniversary of the movie was May 19th. In honor of that, Disney gave us a remastered trailer. Why didn’t do this for the May 4th release is beyond me, but either way it’s a nice nostalgia trip.
For those of us old enough to remember when The Phantom Menace trailer was released, this is a fun watch. I wasn’t one of those people who bought a ticket to Meet Joe Black and then walked out after the trailer finished. Those were the real Sickos. But I was a freshman in college and had high-speed internet for the first time. I can’t say with 100% certainty that I didn’t skip a class to be one of the 10 million people who downloaded the trailer. In 1999, home broadband wasn’t a thing. Maybe at best someone might have DSL if they were really into this new-fangled “World Wide Web” so most of those 10 million downloads were on dial up.
Watching the trailer again, it’s pretty easy to see why (besides the obvious) expectations were so high. The John Williams score. The start in the fog on Naboo. The shot of Queen Amidala looking out the window leading right into pod-racing. There’s all the things that make Star Wars fun. Space battles, weird aliens, and blaster fights. Then we get the closeup shots of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon with Yoda’s little speech about the Dark Side when we see HOLY CRAP IS THAT A DOUBLE BLADED LIGHTSABER????? Ahhh, Darth Maul. You were supposed to be the Chosen One in the hearts of fans. Instead you turned out to be a slightly better version of Boba Fett.
Looking back, I’m not sure there’s anything Lucas could have put on the screen that would have met fans’ expectations. That doesn’t excuse the movie’s flaws, but fans have been waiting for 20 years and have sat through a year of pre-release hype. Even if you were a Star Wars fan trying to temper your expectations, it probably wasn’t possible. In the end, like I said in the May 4th edition, the good parts of TPM are still good. The bad parts are still bad.
Random thoughts:
I have no way of verifying this but am 99% sure I was at the first showing in my hometown. I had a friend that worked at a movie theater and got to go to a friends and family showing on it at midnight. There were a few people who dressed up but not a ton. And then later in the evening of the 19th, I went and saw it again with some other friends.
Speaking of Star Wars at midnight, longtime real-life friend and Death Star HR reader Darth Vo reminded me that were on TV buying Star Wars toys. Something that I usually leave off my resume but should probably add it back on. We went to Toys R Us2 at midnight to buy plastic action figures. One, or maybe several of the local TV stations were there to gawk at the nerds3. We didn’t get interviewed, but you could see us in the shot where you see the doors open and customers stream in. I’ve hooked high and low for the video, but it’s long gone.
Given the amount of hype for the movie and the toys, the Midnight Madness was pretty chill. Everyone had fun hanging out. I’m sure there were some dudes4 who spent too much money on Darth Maul figures thinking they could flip them on eBay. I would love to know how many tons of plastic was used to produce all the figures.
On my Great Moments in Star Wars Merchandising for the May 4th newsletter, I referenced that I had a complete collection of the Pepsi cans. I was wrong. There was a gold Yoda Pepsi can. I never had one or even saw one in the wild. If you’ve got an extra $20 that you don’t have any need for, you can get one on eBay.
Drink high fructose corn sugar you will. Source Along with it being in the theaters all summer, TPM was back in the theaters in November. I’m guessing it was around Thanksgiving, but I can’t say for sure. I know I went. By that time I had seen it so many times that it was like “ok, get to the pod-race. ok that’s over, now get to the final dual.”
The VHS came out about year after the movie release. I also went to Meijer at midnight and picked it up. Went back to my apartment, fast-forwarded to the Dual of the Fates, and then went to bed. I thought I still had the VHS, but I went and checked the movie bin and I don’t. Restocking my favorite movies on DVD is going to be a project in the next few years. Please don’t tell Emperor Palpatine’s #1 Fan. I’m already pushing my luck with books and records.
I’ve always wonder what The Phantom Menace (and the rest of the Prequels) could have looked like if George had just written an outline or a first draft and then turned it over to a…I don’t want to use the word “better” but I don’t have another word…turned it over to a better director. The bones of something really good are there.
Great Moments in Star Wars Merchandising - Spoilers Edition
I’ve mentioned this before but I still remain amazed that Baby Yoda remained a secret until The Mandalorian dropped. Nothing leaked. No crew members anonymously posted a blurry cell phone picture on Twitter. Everyone’s jaw collectively dropped when Mando opened the carrier and there was Grogu. What amazes me even more is Disney seemingly made the choice not to have a cargo ship worth of merchandise ready to go.
There hasn’t been much info about Skeleton Crew, likely coming this fall. It stars Jude Law, it’s set between Episodes XI and XII, and it’s been described as “Goonies in space.” And thanks to a merch leak, the public has their first look at the younglings.
The kid on the right is an Ortolan. I’m a big Max Rebo fan, so always excited to see another one of his kind.
This Day in Star Wars History
I stumbled across this while poking around Wookieepedia. A look back on a day and seeing what happened in the Star Wars universe. On May 24th, the following happened:
Celebration IV started in Los Angeles. The year was 2007 and the big celebration was the 30th anniversary of A New Hope. I’ve never been to a Star Wars Celebration, but I plan on fixing that whenever the next one is held in the US.
The paperback edition of Legends novel The Old Republic: Fatal Alliance was published in 2011. I read this one a while ago and thought it was fun, lots of twists and turns.
The Rise of Skywalker was supposed to be released on this date in 2019, but was pushed back until December. Long time Death Star HR readers may have noticed I have not mentioned TROS much lately. I have a big piece upcoming on the movie. It won’t be what you think.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
So to get a topic for this section, I just hit the randomizer button on Wookieepedia until I get something interesting. I clicked a few this evening and then Jedi Counseling popped up. Which I thought was going to be interesting but would make sense. Even if you were a space wizard with unimaginable powers, you still might need someone to talk to every now and then. I thought about some kind of bit where the Jedi Council offers mental help services as an employment benefit. There might not be much demand, since Jedi have to suppress their emotions. But think about it, maybe if Anakin could have seen a therapist, he might not have fallen to the Dark Side.
Unfortunately, this Jedi Counseling is something completely different. Instead it was a feature on WOTC’s website concerning the Star Wars roleplaying game. If you had a question or needed some kind of clarification of the rules, you could email them and maybe they’d answer. Unclear if there was ever a question submitted to Jedi Counseling if a Jedi could be a counselor or seek counseling.
News From the HoloNet
The Acolyte Inspired By This Iconic Star Wars Game
Just give us a KOTOR show and I can die happy.
Revisiting The Phantom Menace: Star Wars Nostalgia vs. Reality
Nostalgia is a toxic impulse.
The top 5 times a remastered Phantom Menace trailer made me go ‘Star Wars is so back’
Spot on. The trailer for TPM is so good.
Daisy Ridley Wants John Boyega Back for Star Wars: Episode 9 Sequel
Bring back Finn!
Young Jedi Adventures Season 2 seems to be already in the works!
The Bluey of Star Wars? OK, I’ll give it a shot.
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
View draft history
The difference between a violin and a fiddle depends on if the person playing is wearing cowboy boots.
Another American institution ruined by private equity vultures.
When a highbrow news source sends a reporter to go to talk to the rubes, that’s known as a “Cletus safari.”
Of course it was all dudes.
I remember the Pepsi cans! At my local mall they also had an episode 1 Pepsi machine right by the theater. That machine sat there until the mall ended up like most the malls in America. I always wondered what they did with that after the mall got shut down. It's weird to be nostalgic for a vending machine but hey, here we are.
I remember waiting for HOURS to download that trailer over a dial up connection. I must have rewashed the first 10-20 seconds 100 times before the whole thing downloaded.