The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: September 6, 2024
Star Wars Outlaws is here, the Death Star HR book club returns, and spinning vinyl
Hello there
Welcome back to the Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter. For some reason, last week’s link-o-rama newsletter was the most read one in the history of of the newsletter. I’m not sure what that says, maybe some of you just like links. No matter. This weeks’ newsletter is one of my favorite types, one that has a lot of references to The Simpsons and other things I love in it. We’ve got an unauthorized apperance of Darth Revan. Star Wars Outlaws is, uhhh, flawed in parts. Plus the return of the Death Star HR book club and Great Moments in Star Wars merchandising. Plus all the assorted links and trivia you get here every week.
There’s been an influx of some new subscribers lately, so welcome. I’m glad you’re here. And as always I appreicate all the Death Star HR O.G.s that have stuck with me. If you’ve got a friend or enemy into Star Wars, now’s the perfect time to forward them this email. Or send them this week. Now, let’s get to it.
This Is Where The Fun Begins
It is well established Death Star HR canon that I absolutely love the Knights of the Old Republic video games. It’s a shame Disney hasn’t brought more elements of them into canon because there’s so much to work with. And yes, I am aware that saying Revan is canon is TECHNICALLY correct.
It is a puzzle why Disney hasn’t done anything with Darth Revan. It would be an easy win. He’s a popular character among the Sickos and it would be pretty easy to bring him back. There really isn’t a spot for the Old Republic characters in the current TV/movie line up, but it would be pretty easy to drop Revan into a book or comic series. There was the Legends Revan novel, which I wasn’t a huge fan of. Drew Karpyshyn had a great trilogy with the Darth Bane books, but I thought Revan could have been better. Mostly because the title character didn’t get much action.
But, until Disney gets around to doing something with Revan, we’ve got this cosplay.
Star Wars Buglaws Outlaws Has Some Problems
As I noted last week, Star Wars: Outlaws launched on August 30th. An ambitious open world game allows you to play as Kay Vess, a small time smuggler (probably with a heart of gold) who needs one big score. Or something like that. I don’t actually know for sure but that description seems like a pretty safe assumption. The game has been on a lot of fans’ radars for a while, even though it had some, ahem, strange controversies before the game was released. Namely the appearance of the main character.
I truly cannot imagine the thought process of the “fans” who were tweeting about the main character from a videogame not having big enough breasts for their liking, but we live in strange times. Also to write this section, my search history now contains the words “kay vess boobs” and “kay vess bra size.” I strongly advise you turn safe search on if you’re going to search the former. May the Mortis Gods forgive me and may the FBI not end up knocking on my door.
Anyway, at the risk of sounding like an angry boomer confronted with almond milk, I am going to say there is one aspect of videogames that was better back in my day. They were complete.
Games had to be complete, or as near as they could be to complete, when they shipped. There’s no updating a Nintendo cartridge, there was no internet to download a patch for. Now, it’s just “we’ll fix it in post.” So long as the game gets released on time and is mostly playable, it gets shipped.
All that to say, both fans and haters have been having a field day with all the bugs people are finding.
Not exactly a flawless execution. Especially not when Ubisoft is charging $130 for the so-called “Ultimate Edition.”
Kotaku summed it up by saying “Star Wars Outlaws Is A Crappy Masterpiece.”
I felt sheer astonishment at the achievement of this. Ubisoft, via multiple studios across the whole world, and the work of thousands of deeply talented people, had built this impossibly perfect area for one momentary scene that I was intended to run straight past.
Except I ran past it three times, because the AI kept fucking up and I was restarted at a checkpoint right before that gray wall over and over.
I’m struggling to capture the dissonance of this moment. This sense of absolute awe, almost unbelieving admiration that it’s even possible to build games at this scale and at this detail, slapped hard around the face by the bewilderingly bad decisions that take place within it all.
Maybe I’ll put off that PS5 purchase until the bugs are worked out…
The Death Star Human Resources Department Book Club: New Jedi Order #8
I had managed to read both of the Edge of Victory books back to back but just haven’t been able to get this one written about It’s amazing how much reading I can get done when I don’t have to, you know, work for a living. Unfortunately once my vacation ended and I had to go back to working for a living, it cuts into my time for writing about the books I read.
Title: Edge of Victory II: Rebirth
Series: New Jedi Order. Book #8
Author: Greg Keyes
Date published: July 31st, 2001
Pages: 292
Status: Legends
Summary in less than 20 words: Love is in the air. And so are X-Wings. And too many plot lines.
So while I noted that in the first book of the Edge of Victory duology was mostly the Anakin Skywalker book. Unfortunately the second book went back to the five or six different plot lines. I’ve mentioned it before but I really question doing that. I get you have to move the story along but the plot has been more or less stuck for a while. Vong invasion, galactic war, they’re taking over planets yada yada yada. If you’ve got 19 novels along with some novellas, comics, etc., it’s really a chance to dig into a character and what makes them tick and it really feels like there’s been some missed opportunity. But, much like the war against the Vong, I’m going to solider on here.
The best story out of the book was actually one of for Nen Yim, a Yuuzhan Vong Shaper who starts asking a lot of questions she shouldn’t be. Since the hook with the Vong is they don’t use technology, so shapers are roughly the equivalent of scientists or engineers.
I’ve mentioned this before but I’ve really liked how the NJO books have slow-rolled the Yuuzhan Vong and what they’re all about. I still do think their “we want to destroy the galaxy because we hate technology” is pretty weak. But…I’m pretty sure the orders were “create bad guys who threaten the galaxy but they can’t be Imperials or Sith” so gotta do something. And really, with the Metaverse and generative AI and all the technology being forced upon society that we never asked for, maybe the Vong have a point. I’m just sayin’.
Back to Nen Yim, she has a bit of a rough time in this book. Everything she’s learning about the Vong and their life and religion is a lie. She could get upset about that. She could be like the religious kid that goes to college and goes crazy the first weekend. Instead, she takes the bribe in form of a promotion to Master Shaper. I’ve been doing a good job of not really reading ahead on Wookieepedia to see what happens in future books. I just have a feeling though, maybe a Force intuition, that Nen Yim is going to play in big role in whatever happens.
Also in the book, love is in the air. All the Solo kids are meeting other characters that make them feel funny and confused. Jacen and Danni Quee, because she might be into the dark and brooding type. You just know Jacen would be a fan of My Chemical Romance. Jania starts thinking rebellious Jedi and former war criminal Kyp Durron might be cute, only to have him trick her into helping him destroy a shipworld of Vong civilians. Jania learns a valuable lesson, don’t trust men. Finally Anakin, he of the boyband looks from the cover of the last New Jedi Order novel shares a kiss with his friend and fellow Jedi, Tahrini Veila. Her big character hook is she doesn’t like to wear shoes. Go figure.
The Good:
As I said, I’ve thought how the authors have slow-rolled the Vong has really worked. Hopefully there are a few more reveals.
Romance is not something generally explored in the Star Wars universe, outside of Han and Leia and Luke and Mara. Well, I guess you have the ReyLo people from the Sequel Trilogy. But anyway, the book does a good job with teenage romance, something that is messy, confusing, and weird. Just like adult romance!
The Bad:
Not a fan of how this book went back to the 5 different story lines. I get it, two books in a row with minimal Luke Skywalker involvement would probably have been deemed unacceptable by Lucas standards. Like I always say, there’s 19 books. There’s room for some deep dives and character studies.
Wild Card:
The last book at Boy Band Anakin. This one has Blue Steel Luke and Mara Jade looking like Ripley. I really want the artist to do my portrait.
Blue steel…Ferrari…le Tigre. Can’t even talk about Magnum Next up: Star by Star, by Troy Denning.
Great Moments in Star Wars Merchandising
I was out record shopping with friends a month or so ago and one of them handed me this.
For $5.00 I wasn’t going to pass it up. I have a vague recollection of these things existing when I was a kid, although I don’t think I ever had any. It’s a record and you can simply read along. It’s a quick, 13 minute story where R2-D2 and C-3PO have an adventure and it looks like they’re in trouble, but just in the nick of time they get saved.
Honestly, it’s pretty good. There the Star Wars music and sound effects. The story moves along quickly enough that kids aren’t going to get bored. The illustrations are decent. Whoever does the voice of Luke is doing a good Mark Hamill impression. However the voice actor for 3PO sounds more Canadian than British. Maybe whoever was doing casting just said “get me someone from the Commonwealth!” The narrator is unknown since there’s no credits listed in the book or on the record.
There were eight Read-Along Adventures released. One for each of the Original Trilogy and then five…we’ll call them Expanded Universe. There are three Ewoks related books which I’m guessing are supposed to tie into the Ewok Adventures movie or maybe the cartoons. Because come on, kids like Ewoks. I’m not going to go out of my way to look for the rest of the Star Wars books/records, but I’d certainly pick them up for the collection if I found them. Now, off to Droid World!
This Day in Star Wars History
Two births, two deaths, and a classic novel are what I’ve got for this week’s TDISWH.
Actor and voice actor Keone Young was born in 1947. In the Star Wars world he voiced Commander Sato, head of the Phoenix Cell in Rebels. He was also on an episode of King of the Hill1 where he’s credited with “Various Characters (voice).”
Jason Court was born in 1963. Remember full motion video scenes in video games? Court played Kyle Katarn for the FMV scenes in Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II2. Katarn was on the short-list of characters people thought Marrok could be.
In 2011, the 20th anniversary edition of Heir to the Empire was published. The book also included the novella Crisis of Faith featuring our favorite blue-skilled Imperial Grand Admiral.
Ann C. Crispin, better known as A.C. Crispin passed away in 2013 after a battle with bladder cancer. Crispin wrote The Han Solo Trilogy of books, which are definitely worth your time, along with a story for both Tales From the Mos Eisley Cantina and Tales From Jabba’s Palace.
Finally, Michael K. Williams passed away in 2013. I was surprised to see this on Wookieepedia since I didn’t think he had any involvement in the Star Wars universe. Turns out he was originally slated to play Dryden Voss in Solo. He even filmed some scenes with the original cast but when Ron Howard was doing reshoots, he was able to due to scheduling conflicts and the part went to Paul Bettany. Williams is of course best known for playing Omar Little on The Wire. Most readers know that my day job is I’m a lawyer, so this gives me an excuse to post my favorite scene from The Wire.
“I got the shotgun. You got the briefcase. It’s all in the game though, right?”
Unfortunately, real life trials are rarely that entertaining.
From the Depths of Wookieepedia
If I’m ranking my favorite types of articles for From the Depths of Wookieepedia, food is obviously first. I think that’s pretty well established. I’m not sure exactly where Force Cults would rank, but they’ve got to be in the top five. Which leads me to think week’s entry, the Order of Shasa.
The Order of Shasa took its name from a Force-sensitive Selkath named Shasa that the Sith had lured, along with her friends, to the Sith Embassy on Manaan. The Sith planned to use the impressionable Selkath to overthrow the Manaan government, and replace it with the easily-manipulated young Force trainees. However, the plot was uncovered by Revan, and he successfully convinced the Selkath of the Sith's evil nature. The Sith's actions, threatening Manaan's neutrality, were punished by restrictions on their kolto shipping.
Force cults AND Darth Revan? Yes please. The Order of Shasa was first introduced in The Old Republic MMORPG which is actually still going. For whatever reason I thought the game just died off. Unfortunately it’s for Windows only and I’m part of the Apple Force Cult.
News From the HoloNet
Ahsoka's Natasha Liu Bordizzo Has Bad News About the Wait for Season 2
Spoiler alert: 2026 at the earliest.
A Glimmer Of Hope For ‘The Acolyte’ Season 2
Rebellions might be built on hope, but I’m not sure about sequels.
Disney Didn't Want To Dilute The Star Wars Brand (But They Did Anyway)
I’ve mentioned in this newsletter several times Disney needs to hit pause or at least slow down the number of releases.
That’s an understatement…
That’s it for this week. If you like what I’m doing, please subscribe. I’ll catch you next week, and may the Force be with you.
Fun fact. King of the Hill is actually an animated documentary about the DFW suburbs.
Love a title with a double colon.
I’m hyped to play Outlaws but also heard about the performance so gonna give it a few months to get patched up.
Another great edition. Many thoughts.
+1 to seeing KOTOR return in any form: current gen remaster, live action adaptation, stage play. It's frankly shocking that we haven't gotten at least a remaster. That's just free money.
I was crushed to hear the bad news about Outlaws. I had my money in-hand last weekend but the reviews all said one thing: Don't. Hoping it'll get cleaned up enough that I can plck it up on sale around Black Friday.
Michael K. Williams as Dryden Voss would've been incredible!!!